Guys, this is torture.
Now i don't want that to be mis-interpreted, not torture as in me obsessing over her or anything like that, but torturing to get the chance to speak to the damn girl!
I went to the store, she was in, good sign, there was a few people in there, i made myself look decent, styled hair looked pretty good. So everything was set up for a good show. I picked out film, walked near the counter, then someone else was about to serve me, i thought noooo lol, so i walked away and she called out "you wanna rent that", and i just said it's ok im just looking for something else.
I was waiting in the store for some time to find the right time for the counter to be empty so i could go up to her, and preferably without the co-worker next to her (there's usually just 2 workers at the counter at one time), then for brother to walk in the store, talk about blowing your cover. I know you'll probably think, it's your brother, don't be self concious, but it's not that, it's off putting, him standing there, and it's not a 1on1 sorta situation, he'll only try and make fun of me if i blew it, he's like that trust me. So that sorta blew things. I told him to look for a film while i went to the counter, only for the guy on her side to be stalling big time, eventually she served me but brother was standing there and her co-worker next to us. Great, chance and self conciousness ruined it.
So all was exchanged was pretty much "yes please" and the likes, damn. I was thinking of asking her things and such before hand if i got to speak to her without brother around me, without store customers next to me, without the co-worker, im not making a big deal out of it, but it seems the self conciousness is the problem.
I probably come across as not being interested or shy now, just great. Maybe it's the truth, the last few times Id been in there i hadn't really liked the way her hair was - being picky like im her boyfriend or something lol, but this time she looked really nice.
Man i can't help but feel disappointed in myself. There was one thing, she looked as though she was slightly embarrased/blushed a little, at the end she asked the co-worker next to her to open the bag, then looked at me smiled and then said thanks and bye but i think she may of blushed a little - just adding in these little possible details, could of been some interest, could of been she felt embarrased asking to get a bag opened for her, probably the latter

I know im going to get a ear full from you guys, forget her and the likes, but im unsure about that. I still am interested in her, and it's been a month or so, i just feel it's really starting to dragg and i can't keep waiting about in the store for her to be free, it might not happen at all, i can't get over the self conciousness though, ive tried but i just can't. I feel im limited to adding her online, but i know how so of you feel about that, i just really dunno.
But i just hate this feeling afterwards, goes on for even 30mins or so, i had contact with her and it's nothing, and of course seeing her is a plus, ahh man, teenage hormones lol.
Trying a lame excuse like "the film doesn't work", in order to get a different copy and get in contact again just doesn't seem right, mostly for the part they could try it thereselves and if it worked fine id look like a tool.
Nah but deep down, i know i have to try and i can't help but feel angry and really dishearten at myself. This can't be good either, it makes me feel down and will eventually bring on some negativity.
So, im starting to think " it", just add her online, might be able to get talking to her then, and it might make things better and more smooth when i see her in store, but then again it could backfire like FOF and BM have pointed out before hand, but to be honest, im just not getting things done at this time and it's really starting to drag, i need to get to know her and know where i stand, she might not even be interested, if that's the case, this is all really un-necessary and that's why things have to be sorted, right here right now!
Uhhh another day in paradise
