friend wants to lose weight, but won't let anyone help

[Sammel85]

Just a pre-warning, some of these comments may sound like I'm really bagging out friend, but I'm trying to give you a picture of how unhealthy she is. I love her to bits most days, but it's getting frustrating that she won't let anyone help her.

friend used to have a body that I envied in high school. She was pretty good looking, had big boobs with a thin waist and thighs and had perfect skin.

Since high school, she has really stacked on the weight. At first it wasn't too bad, it gave her curves in all of the right places. But now, it's gone way out of control and she looks like 3 of her high school selves could fit inside her and she even says that herself!! She has also had a baby about 10 or 11 months ago now and although the short stint of breast feeding that she did helped her to lose a little weight, she is lots bigger than her pre-pregnancy days.

She complains to me about her weight and asks if I've noticed if she's lost any - which to keep her happy, I usually say she looks a little slimmer. I know I shouldn't, but when she gets depressed, she goes on a binge eating cycle which makes matters worse.

One day she asked me to help her with what she eats. I told her I would, but we'd need to go through what she currently eats, what she has stored in the fridge/pantry and convert her to fresh food and water. When I asked if she wanted to do it now, she replied "next time" - that was 3 years ago now.

She talks about how much she exercises, that she does heaps but isn't getting any results. Her exercise is pushing the pram to the corner shop and back to get deep fried food and/or softdrink. Not really a feat. I've asked her lots of times to come for a walk around the lake (6km) and she always finds some excuse, the latest being "I have a baby now Sam".

I feel really bad for her. I want to help her so much because she's very obviously unhealthy. Her BMI definitely be well over 30 and as she's a short person, the weight is just consuming her body. I want her to be able to enjoy her little boy. I kind of see it as if she's not working (and living on her own) she should have time to do something about it, not excuses to avoid it.

So question to everyone out there, how do you help someone when they won't even help themselves?

[Boss Man]

Try to encourage her to come on here if you can. The collective will / mentality of many over one, might be enough to make more headway with her. You will still then be able to actively participate too, but you will have others to get involved as well, so you don't feel as if you're shouldering some sort of responsibility for her, on your own.