I'm going to say something now and feel free to shoot me down in flames, but you ARE a good looking person and I think you ARE being a touch hard on yourself
.
There I've said it.
I also think that within you is a person that to some extent is beautiful and that is why you look like you do, because some of it radiates outwards.
I know you hate compliments, to be honest I feel a little awkward myself with them sometimes, not because I hate them, but because I feel sometimes as if they're unnecessary, but I accept them with good grace. That's me telling it from perspective, not giving you advise on that particular matter.
I also want to tell you that I am exceptionally proud of you, for talking about your personal issues. You know it takes heart, courage and strength, to disclose the things you do and at your age, that is an absolutely fantastic show of self confidence, when clearly in relation to what you've experienced emotionally and mentally in life, you have not had a serious amount of experience of the big world view, like someone twice your age might.
So your heart, courage and confidence impess me and I often do find a certain beauty in such admissions from people. I don't look at you and see someone who should be pitied, but someone who should be praised for standing up and saying this is me, it's not perfect but I am trying to make it better and I want to be helped and supported, instead of stumbling along, trying to do it myself and to a large extent failing.
Your attitude impresses me also. I know you're not trying to be bitchy, you just have what some might call an uncommon mindset, to some types of positive comments and need some way to express what you feel when people say those things.
Take it as read though, whether you like hearing this or not, you DO have a certain beauty about you, that shines from within and also is present in your words too. It shows that you are not broken, unfixable, or damaged, you're just someone with some imperfections, that could be corrected in part or maybe even in whole.
Maybe some of your aversion to some types of positive comments, may stem from never getting told certain things enough in your past, or maybe you feel as if you don't deserve nice comments, but you truly do and you have come here and every time, displayed the qualities of a Lady and been a great part of the community. Warm, respectful, honest, genuine and humble.
You've shown a lot to others of yourself and let us see some of the best of you and it's really appreciated
. You add value to the community and you deserve the help and warm comments you get given.
I know with time you CAN achieve what you want and you should be so, so proud of all your attempts right now, to overcome your physical, mental and emotional hurdles, because for someone with your clearly difficult background, every little positive probably counts and is worth double, compared to most people.
So WELL DONE for doing what you have been doing. Training, logging your food, trying to be proactive on caloric intake and quality of food too.
I won't say you're selling yourself short, I'll say you're slowly but surely learning the true value of you as a person and I think in time, you'll be able to recognise and accept more of the things, members like me see in you and be able to appreciate their value and impact on others.
So you can shoot me down in flames if you want, for what I've written, I'm a grown man, I'll take your heat and your emotional bullets if you want
, but I will reiterate just how proud of you I am, for talking about your issues and being able to show people here, just how wonderfully human and warm you are.
I hope if not now, then someday soon, you can be proud of yourself too. I think you're a young "Lady", with a great future and you deserve tremendous happiness.
Keep up the hard work and keep doing everything you're doing, because if you believe in yourself like we do, you will be able to achieve some pretty amazing things.
GOOD LUCK Jena.
.
But, yeah, in any case, I do believe that if I could get weight lower, then I'd be more willing to experiment in wardrobe, also, I've never really felt that clothing at size was something I really wanted to invest in. Especially since the whole process of buying the clothing in the first place was such a discouraging and frustrating task.
As it is right now, I try to eat at least two meals a day or one meal and a couple snacks. On a really good day, like today, I've had two meals and two snacks, I don't feel awful, but I feel pretty gross and it's still no where near as much as you're suggesting. . .
),
