These aches and pains are really starting to get the better of me, i can't take it no more. Today maybe a worse day, but if i have to live another day with neck being so weak and feeling like it's going to snap, or knees not being able to straighten i think id rather not be here.
It's come to the point where i don't even want to be alive with these pains present, i have dealt with them for long enough why am i such a fucking cripple at 19, i haven't had any trauma or accidents yet body functions like its 90 and is about to collapse.
Can't take it no more i really can't.
Fat Around Button Area?
Moderators: Boss Man, cassiegose
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Martin-Boy2
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Re: Fat Around Button Area?
It's hard, but then you have to remember that there are wheelchair bound people who have problems from birth or people that develop genetic problems in thier lifetime and they have to adapt and just get on with it.
Hope4life is such a person who has her NF2 and has had to live with spinal problems, tumours and still managed to run a race.
It's a pity she's not been around for a while, because she is such an inspiration and such a beatiful personality as well.
You are not in a situation where you necessarily have to adapt forever, but until you can get the medical answers you seek, you must continue to just try to do what you can and learn ot live wiht it.
I appreciate it's not necessarily the kind of thing you hoped to read, but it's probably the most relevant thing you are going to read right now, because talking about some kind of "end", is not viable and your life is worth more than even the thought let alone the deed itself.
You've got to keep hanging in there fella okay, because at some not too far of juncture I'd estimate, you'll be able to find the outcome(s), you want from this.
Keep believing and good luck
.
Hope4life is such a person who has her NF2 and has had to live with spinal problems, tumours and still managed to run a race.
It's a pity she's not been around for a while, because she is such an inspiration and such a beatiful personality as well.
You are not in a situation where you necessarily have to adapt forever, but until you can get the medical answers you seek, you must continue to just try to do what you can and learn ot live wiht it.
I appreciate it's not necessarily the kind of thing you hoped to read, but it's probably the most relevant thing you are going to read right now, because talking about some kind of "end", is not viable and your life is worth more than even the thought let alone the deed itself.
You've got to keep hanging in there fella okay, because at some not too far of juncture I'd estimate, you'll be able to find the outcome(s), you want from this.
Keep believing and good luck
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Martin-Boy2
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Re: Fat Around Button Area?
Thanks for the words BM, i suspect you're getting fed up of typing out the same responses but it just is getting pretty daunting right now.
Even Achilles tendons start to hurt after walking, even if its for 20mins, the dull ache will last around 2+ hours after. The other morning i was woke up by back pain, so i decided to go for quite a walk, after 20-30mins i had to sit down and rest for about the same, then head back, it is such a pain.
Tomorrow im getting a x-ray on cervical spine, along with a bunch of blood tests, also getting an MRI for back on the way. The thing is, im going to book another doc appointment for soon as and asked to be referred back to physiotherapy. I really am certain that i have Sacroiliac Joint dysfunction, i was re-reading about it the other day and found another 2 symptoms added whch were insomnia, and urinary frequency, which i have noticed as late. Even if i have to wait 3-4 months until im completely new and re-programmed, so be it. It's going to suck big time in losing performance and progress, but if i am 100% pain free, i'll be able to train much harder and improve further. I don't know how these problems have even came from though.
Personal;
Ok, now something id rather talk about. The girl situation, still not much change, i had haircut on Tuesday, but again they've butchered it, at least in eyes. I feel i look nothing like how i wanted hair to look, and again that dissapoints me, the idea of going to get a haircut is so that you like how it looks after, not feel it's worse. So on that note - sorry Jena, going to have to wait a while, at least until they do it right! once hair has grown back. I'll go back in a month and have someone else do it rather than the usual person, they straightened hair and everything but i still felt it looked really bad, and girlish, either way i'll try again in a month and if i still don't like it, i don't think i'll go there again unfortunately.
It's made me feel less confident in going to the store to approach the girl, and having been away for a few days ive had a think about whether i even want to try or not. And i do. Although this isn't something id want to be saying, although id still like to make something with her, im starting to doubt chances. I feel the longer it goes on the worse chance i have, i can't go down there every 3 days or so on the odd chance she'll be working, and even then it's likely i won't have a chance to make a good approach, even if i have the confidence to, the self conciousness of people around me and next to her will put me off. I even feel like walking back down there now to see if she's there, an hour later, bit stalkerish/freakish/pathetic, i know. But i feel it's not productive at all sitting here and there needs to be more that i can do to improve chances, right?
I feel the longer i wait im blowing chances and some guy is going to come along and pick her up, and that i will regret and hate myself for. Not something i want. Ive tried to make myself look better with the new barnet, but it isn't as pleasing, but there's nothing i can do about that for now and rather than wait a month i still have a chance to try. The longer things go on i do feel more tempted to request her online, it has even come to the point in the past where i have requested her then i was asked are you sure, and changed mind, but it still doesn't feel as right until i speak to her in person, so im going to hold off on that for now. You see, last week, i had confidence, i went in there, it was empty, i felt good, and i would of had a good conversation with her, if it wasn't a guy that served me and she was serving and not doing stuff behind the counter.
I really hate this gut feeling of sitting here helpless and hopeless, not even have tried for something that i obviously want. I need to suck it up, walk in there head high, yank her over the counter and pull her to one side
Oh dear oh dear oh dear
!!
Even Achilles tendons start to hurt after walking, even if its for 20mins, the dull ache will last around 2+ hours after. The other morning i was woke up by back pain, so i decided to go for quite a walk, after 20-30mins i had to sit down and rest for about the same, then head back, it is such a pain.
Tomorrow im getting a x-ray on cervical spine, along with a bunch of blood tests, also getting an MRI for back on the way. The thing is, im going to book another doc appointment for soon as and asked to be referred back to physiotherapy. I really am certain that i have Sacroiliac Joint dysfunction, i was re-reading about it the other day and found another 2 symptoms added whch were insomnia, and urinary frequency, which i have noticed as late. Even if i have to wait 3-4 months until im completely new and re-programmed, so be it. It's going to suck big time in losing performance and progress, but if i am 100% pain free, i'll be able to train much harder and improve further. I don't know how these problems have even came from though.
Personal;
Ok, now something id rather talk about. The girl situation, still not much change, i had haircut on Tuesday, but again they've butchered it, at least in eyes. I feel i look nothing like how i wanted hair to look, and again that dissapoints me, the idea of going to get a haircut is so that you like how it looks after, not feel it's worse. So on that note - sorry Jena, going to have to wait a while, at least until they do it right! once hair has grown back. I'll go back in a month and have someone else do it rather than the usual person, they straightened hair and everything but i still felt it looked really bad, and girlish, either way i'll try again in a month and if i still don't like it, i don't think i'll go there again unfortunately.
It's made me feel less confident in going to the store to approach the girl, and having been away for a few days ive had a think about whether i even want to try or not. And i do. Although this isn't something id want to be saying, although id still like to make something with her, im starting to doubt chances. I feel the longer it goes on the worse chance i have, i can't go down there every 3 days or so on the odd chance she'll be working, and even then it's likely i won't have a chance to make a good approach, even if i have the confidence to, the self conciousness of people around me and next to her will put me off. I even feel like walking back down there now to see if she's there, an hour later, bit stalkerish/freakish/pathetic, i know. But i feel it's not productive at all sitting here and there needs to be more that i can do to improve chances, right?
I feel the longer i wait im blowing chances and some guy is going to come along and pick her up, and that i will regret and hate myself for. Not something i want. Ive tried to make myself look better with the new barnet, but it isn't as pleasing, but there's nothing i can do about that for now and rather than wait a month i still have a chance to try. The longer things go on i do feel more tempted to request her online, it has even come to the point in the past where i have requested her then i was asked are you sure, and changed mind, but it still doesn't feel as right until i speak to her in person, so im going to hold off on that for now. You see, last week, i had confidence, i went in there, it was empty, i felt good, and i would of had a good conversation with her, if it wasn't a guy that served me and she was serving and not doing stuff behind the counter.
I really hate this gut feeling of sitting here helpless and hopeless, not even have tried for something that i obviously want. I need to suck it up, walk in there head high, yank her over the counter and pull her to one side
Oh dear oh dear oh dear
!!
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MissJenaKay
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Re: Fat Around Button Area?
Girlish?? In what way? As for your situation, I don't know what to tell you, dear. I wish I did, but I'm the opposite of good at getting to know people. Lol. I'll be waiting to see your hair once you get a cut you like. Also, I'm really good at telling people hairstyles that would look good, so if you ever want input on a haircut, I'd be happy to help. C: Best of luck, dear.
Re: Fat Around Button Area?
No I don't get fed up of typing out responses, but you've got two choices here.
A: make the move.
B: don't make the move.
I would suggest instead of faffing about, just make that decision and stick to it for good. no having doubts about the decision, just make your mind up, because all this ifing and butting is getting you nowhere; I want to do this but, I don't want to do that but.
Ask yourself one thing as well; why is she so important you must ask her out? That's one person out of so many, I mean it can't be as if she's the only available female between 16 and 40, in a 100 mile square radius can it.
Good luck on the tests and such like. It might suck knowing your problems may persist for a few months more, but sometimes that's how it is.
A: make the move.
B: don't make the move.
I would suggest instead of faffing about, just make that decision and stick to it for good. no having doubts about the decision, just make your mind up, because all this ifing and butting is getting you nowhere; I want to do this but, I don't want to do that but.
Ask yourself one thing as well; why is she so important you must ask her out? That's one person out of so many, I mean it can't be as if she's the only available female between 16 and 40, in a 100 mile square radius can it.
Good luck on the tests and such like
. It might suck knowing your problems may persist for a few months more, but sometimes that's how it is.-
Martin-Boy2
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Re: Fat Around Button Area?
Girlish, i don't know, i think because it was straightened which i haven't done before all over and it was all flat to sides, just wasn't a look i was expecting or used to lol.
I don't know why she is so important, i mean ive been in that store loads of times in the past, Ive always felt she was quite attractive, but i never went into this phase about attempting to get with her until one of mates said why don't you get her number. I think that's what made me start to think, why don't i at least try?
Yep you're right about the age and radius, but somethings telling me to give it a go, i'll see, if im in there, she is and it's empty, i'll talk to ther, but i think i give up going down there to see if she's in, i suspected this to happen as the time goes on
Thanks for the heads up, will be off in just over an hour to get these tests done
I don't know why she is so important, i mean ive been in that store loads of times in the past, Ive always felt she was quite attractive, but i never went into this phase about attempting to get with her until one of mates said why don't you get her number. I think that's what made me start to think, why don't i at least try?
Yep you're right about the age and radius, but somethings telling me to give it a go, i'll see, if im in there, she is and it's empty, i'll talk to ther, but i think i give up going down there to see if she's in, i suspected this to happen as the time goes on
Thanks for the heads up, will be off in just over an hour to get these tests done
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MissJenaKay
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Re: Fat Around Button Area?
That doesn't sound terribly girlish to me, but good luck with the girl, buttercup.
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Martin-Boy2
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Re: Fat Around Button Area?
Thanks Jena, appreciate it.
Ok guys, absolute shiting myself now, never been this worried as i am now, and that's because after reading symptoms there's a possiblity i could have:
ankylosing spondylitis
Really scared now!!!!
Ok guys, absolute shiting myself now, never been this worried as i am now, and that's because after reading symptoms there's a possiblity i could have:
ankylosing spondylitis
Really scared now!!!!
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MissJenaKay
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Re: Fat Around Button Area?
I hope the best for you, babe.
Re: Fat Around Button Area?
Ankylosing Spondylitis is chronic inflammation of the lower back, hence the ending "itis", (inflammatory condition).
If you are exeriencing possible ramifications in your Legs, I would say it's a possibility that's not what you've got and if you have a Sacroiliac problem, then that wouldn't necessary be related to chronic lower back pain, unless any hairline fracture or inflammation of the joint(s), had been caused by some kind of excessive or abnormal stress or pressure on the joint(s), by the back.
You have a cervial vertibrae issue, so I would presume it's unlikely you have a possible Lumbar, Sacral or Coccyxial problem too, unless you have Scoliosis, or the effects of some serious blunt trauma, like say a car crash impact.
Another possibility would be something like Spondylolysis, which is caused by a hairline fracture ot the side of one the lower vertebrae.
This can be sorted out with things like a back brace, NSAIDS, (Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs), as healing modalities, or if worst comes to the worst some kind of fusion surgery.
Obviously I am giving you potential suggestions only, not a diagnosis, becasue I can't diagnose anything, not being a doctor.
The tests you have to have will reveal more, but right now, worrying a lot, or believing you could have a myriad of differing ailment outcomes, won't do you any favours.
There's no point worrying too much about something you don't know, because you might be overplaying a situation, that might be more simple and hassle-free to correct than first thought.
So try to focus on the good things in your life, as i'm sure there must be some and try to keep believing in the positive outcomes(s), that COULD happen at some point.
If you are exeriencing possible ramifications in your Legs, I would say it's a possibility that's not what you've got and if you have a Sacroiliac problem, then that wouldn't necessary be related to chronic lower back pain, unless any hairline fracture or inflammation of the joint(s), had been caused by some kind of excessive or abnormal stress or pressure on the joint(s), by the back.
You have a cervial vertibrae issue, so I would presume it's unlikely you have a possible Lumbar, Sacral or Coccyxial problem too, unless you have Scoliosis, or the effects of some serious blunt trauma, like say a car crash impact.
Another possibility would be something like Spondylolysis, which is caused by a hairline fracture ot the side of one the lower vertebrae.
This can be sorted out with things like a back brace, NSAIDS, (Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs), as healing modalities, or if worst comes to the worst some kind of fusion surgery.
Obviously I am giving you potential suggestions only, not a diagnosis, becasue I can't diagnose anything, not being a doctor.
The tests you have to have will reveal more, but right now, worrying a lot, or believing you could have a myriad of differing ailment outcomes, won't do you any favours.
There's no point worrying too much about something you don't know, because you might be overplaying a situation, that might be more simple and hassle-free to correct than first thought.
So try to focus on the good things in your life, as i'm sure there must be some and try to keep believing in the positive outcomes(s), that COULD happen at some point.
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Martin-Boy2
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Re: Fat Around Button Area?
Well recently i have been waking up with really bad pains in low back, i have done on and off, i mean i get worse days. But the pain feels mostly like it's coming directly from the sacroiliac joint, the 2 balls at either side of the base of the spine, and giving the pain upwards towards low back.
What do you mean by possible ramifications? I have pain in knees through a tendon that attaches but that's pain in knees. No one in family i know of has AS, although it can be passed down hereditary through the HLA-B27 gene, no one i know of in our family has it.
I am worried though, i can't hide that, the symptoms of, pain worse in the morning and night - definitive morning, sometimes at night but it hasn't been too bad lately. Eased with activity, worse with rest, hot showers in the morning make it feel better, just have one, although it hasn't stopped the pain. Where as sacroiliac joint dysfunction i think says activity causes pain? Not sure, but they both seem similar id rather it be the SIJD as to what i know it can be fixed within a few months of Physiotherapy, although i saw it on the arthritis forum on medicine net so that is a bit of a puzzle.
It would be just luck, Ive had this low back pain since last October, when i was working with dad, i was on knees and doing a lot of leaning over, the pain started hurting one day and he said it's where i wasn't used to it, i carried on the job for the remainder of the days/weeks we were working there and it didn't get any better. It's not his fault at all though, he helped me out, and prior to that, i was on holiday for 3 weeks, sitting about doing nothing.
I am concerned, as the AS condition affects younger people, there must be some inflammation as the pain is unreal at times, i really hope it's a simple , with AS,the discs fuse together, and it's a lifetime condition
Maybe i should ask for a blood test for HLA-B27, but i don't think i want to
Time to get on with concreting the gym shed, although if i have this condition im doubting what use im going to get from it, arthritis at 19? Please no.
What do you mean by possible ramifications? I have pain in knees through a tendon that attaches but that's pain in knees. No one in family i know of has AS, although it can be passed down hereditary through the HLA-B27 gene, no one i know of in our family has it.
I am worried though, i can't hide that, the symptoms of, pain worse in the morning and night - definitive morning, sometimes at night but it hasn't been too bad lately. Eased with activity, worse with rest, hot showers in the morning make it feel better, just have one, although it hasn't stopped the pain. Where as sacroiliac joint dysfunction i think says activity causes pain? Not sure, but they both seem similar id rather it be the SIJD as to what i know it can be fixed within a few months of Physiotherapy, although i saw it on the arthritis forum on medicine net so that is a bit of a puzzle.
It would be just luck, Ive had this low back pain since last October, when i was working with dad, i was on knees and doing a lot of leaning over, the pain started hurting one day and he said it's where i wasn't used to it, i carried on the job for the remainder of the days/weeks we were working there and it didn't get any better. It's not his fault at all though, he helped me out, and prior to that, i was on holiday for 3 weeks, sitting about doing nothing.
I am concerned, as the AS condition affects younger people, there must be some inflammation as the pain is unreal at times, i really hope it's a simple , with AS,the discs fuse together, and it's a lifetime condition
Maybe i should ask for a blood test for HLA-B27, but i don't think i want to
Time to get on with concreting the gym shed, although if i have this condition im doubting what use im going to get from it, arthritis at 19? Please no.
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Martin-Boy2
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Re: Fat Around Button Area?
Few hours of hard work, done though and felt good, however, now ankles are litreally killing me, both feet, heck noes why. When i had a shower knees were hurting, now it's ankles, im getting so worried about this whole AS thing the longer it goes on, really am. I know it's no good worrying but things will never be the same, i really hope i have something simple, but with the amount of problems, it's not looking good at all and that really frightens me.
Soft tissue work on calves and feet helped relief a small amount of heel pain, mostly it's achilles tendon that's hurting, along with the front of foot where it connects to lower leg when dorsiflexing.
Soft tissue work on calves and feet helped relief a small amount of heel pain, mostly it's achilles tendon that's hurting, along with the front of foot where it connects to lower leg when dorsiflexing.
Re: Fat Around Button Area?
When I said possible ramifications I meant if there was sone kind of Leg problem, (which you seem to elude to in some of your posts), connected to the lower back problem, then it might possibly rule out Ankylosing Spondylitis.
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Martin-Boy2
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Re: Fat Around Button Area?
I hope it does rule it out, the only real leg problem is from knees and now ankles, so mostly the joints, no thigh or buttock pain that i seem to notice.
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Martin-Boy2
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Re: Fat Around Button Area?
Man, starting to get annoyed a bit.
Went to the store to get a film out that i had seen in the past, wouldn't mind seeing again but paying to see a film you already have isn't as interesting, yet it was a way to go to the store, and counter and attempt to speak to her.
And, the confidence was there, but yet again i was served by someone else! I can't stand there and say "oh no i'll wait for her", that can make you come across as weird.
I don't doubt that if it was her serving me and it was empty, which it was, i would of spoke to her a bit, im annoyed at myself because if i maybe waited around 5mins it would of been free to talk to her, but it shouldn't have to be like this, i shouldn't have to make myself look decent, keep paying money for items just to get the odd chance of speaking to her, i know i have the confidence now and i will speak to her if i get the chance without people staring at me.
It's starting to me off to be honest, as if i don't have enough to deal with at the moment with problems, and i do, but i dont' want to let them get in the way, i feel like this for a reason and im not going to let it go without trying and have someone else take her and end up regretting it for not trying, the confidence IS there, im sure id speak to her alright, it's getting the CHANCE to.
This is why im really considering just adding her online, at least i'll be able to talk to her without worrying if she's in the store or it's busy or what not, it's a joke. But the thing is i wouldn't know what to say online as i could come across differently, and as Boss pointed out before that i could of spoke to her in the store - i could of, but i haven't quite had the chance yet i feel.
The guy that got me the film couldn't find one, and she did and gave him the film and quickly looked up and gave me a smile then looked off. I may be thinking into things a bit too much, but surely you could of gave the guy the film without looking at me, she could of just been being decent who knows and without speaking to her it is all going to head and making me feel almost as if im not good enough at times, but that's not stopping me.
I know you guys can't say much as i do have 2 choices, speak to her, or forget it, i don't want to forget it, at least not without trying and im not going to, but this is starting to really drag, you know.
To add a note; haven't been sleeping well lately, 2's 3's in the morning, just finding it hard, too much on mind, Sacroiliac joint dysfunction can cause insomnia - let's hope it's that.
Just would like to know what you guys think, even if it's something ive asked before which it does sound like, im tired of waiting around and considering just adding her online, speaking to her a bit and popping down in the week, or what not. I would have to go there tomorrow anyway to take the film back, maybe i should try then? But then id have to buy something again to get to the counter, and I'll end up in debt lol.
Cheers all
Went to the store to get a film out that i had seen in the past, wouldn't mind seeing again but paying to see a film you already have isn't as interesting, yet it was a way to go to the store, and counter and attempt to speak to her.
And, the confidence was there, but yet again i was served by someone else! I can't stand there and say "oh no i'll wait for her", that can make you come across as weird.
I don't doubt that if it was her serving me and it was empty, which it was, i would of spoke to her a bit, im annoyed at myself because if i maybe waited around 5mins it would of been free to talk to her, but it shouldn't have to be like this, i shouldn't have to make myself look decent, keep paying money for items just to get the odd chance of speaking to her, i know i have the confidence now and i will speak to her if i get the chance without people staring at me.
It's starting to me off to be honest, as if i don't have enough to deal with at the moment with problems, and i do, but i dont' want to let them get in the way, i feel like this for a reason and im not going to let it go without trying and have someone else take her and end up regretting it for not trying, the confidence IS there, im sure id speak to her alright, it's getting the CHANCE to.
This is why im really considering just adding her online, at least i'll be able to talk to her without worrying if she's in the store or it's busy or what not, it's a joke. But the thing is i wouldn't know what to say online as i could come across differently, and as Boss pointed out before that i could of spoke to her in the store - i could of, but i haven't quite had the chance yet i feel.
The guy that got me the film couldn't find one, and she did and gave him the film and quickly looked up and gave me a smile then looked off. I may be thinking into things a bit too much, but surely you could of gave the guy the film without looking at me, she could of just been being decent who knows and without speaking to her it is all going to head and making me feel almost as if im not good enough at times, but that's not stopping me.
I know you guys can't say much as i do have 2 choices, speak to her, or forget it, i don't want to forget it, at least not without trying and im not going to, but this is starting to really drag, you know.
To add a note; haven't been sleeping well lately, 2's 3's in the morning, just finding it hard, too much on mind, Sacroiliac joint dysfunction can cause insomnia - let's hope it's that.
Just would like to know what you guys think, even if it's something ive asked before which it does sound like, im tired of waiting around and considering just adding her online, speaking to her a bit and popping down in the week, or what not. I would have to go there tomorrow anyway to take the film back, maybe i should try then? But then id have to buy something again to get to the counter, and I'll end up in debt lol.
Cheers all