Jena's Journal.

[Nokie173]

BIG *HUG* I wish you all the best. Depression is not easy, but you have to be strong for your family.
I'm with Rebekah...Take care of yourself.

Thanks. Being strong sucks though. I'm so sick of being strong though... I'm always the strong one. I don't dare ever cry when people can hear or see me and I feel like I have to pretend everything is just fine. . . I'm so stressed out and I haven't been eating hardly at all and I've been doing nothing be sleep.

You don't have to pretend to be Strong... Just keep a positive attitude.. It helps.

Its kind of amusing how I’m reading your post and it totally remind me of situation. I won’t go in to details but I’m pretty much tired of everything too. Over worked, over stressed, overwhelming....I’m taking care of family and paying the bills for myself and them… All the pressure and stress comes to me being the “lead” of the household (Although i'm the youngest in the family). But I do realize I have to take care of myself in order to continue to take care of them. I know talking to people may not help as much in the situation… but to me, as long as I can express/vent a little… it helps me a TON. I got a load of stuff out of chest just talking/typing about it to people who would listen because family wouldn’t understand. They see me as always the “strong one”.

Anyways, not too long ago, I had a tooth implant… man it was painful and I couldn’t eat for days… but once I could… I ate and worked out like there’s not tomorrow.

Hope everything goes well and take care of yourself. Make sure to keep positive because it will help you think clearly!

[MissJenaKay]

Hello all,

I'm alive (barely). After sleeping for the past four days, I know diet and exercise are absolutely horrible. I tried to keep protein intake up, but I can't eat solid foods for a while, and oral surgeon said to keep physical activity to a minimum to avoid a rupture from blood pressure getting too high. :/ :/ Therefore, I'm not allowed to eat anything that I need to actually chew. I just thought I'd toss up a little message. Once I get the okay on eating hard foods again and being able to exercise, I will get right back to work.

I've been doing a lot of thinking while I've been resting (the times that I've been awake) and I've realised there are a lot of things in life I need to sort out. I've been doing a lot of crying along with thinking and I've been trying to talk to people, to no avail, it seems like everyone is too busy with the holiday season, and I suppose I understand. I just feel kinda abandoned and I know I'm being selfish, but I can't help it sometimes. :/ :/

Merry Christmas and best wishes to everyone, I hope you all enjoy this time of year. :]
-Jena

[MissJenaKay]

Christmas was interesting, I'm feeling a little better physically, but emotionally, I'm extremely torn up and I'm pretty much hating everything about being alive right now. I might update later or something....

[fit-fanatic-2025]

Glad to know your doing okay Jena and I hope you had a good christmas! memory is horrible i can barely remember getting wisdom teeth taken out. I actually don't remember much about it at all, But glad your getting over that as well!

[MissJenaKay]

Today was the day that we have a family Christmas at grandparents. It was quite lovely until a set of cousins that are actually not at all blood related to me showed up and they're terrorist of a psychopath younger daughter made me feel like murdering her. . . But all in all it was nice, I got to play with cousin's two babies and I got a couple amazing gifts and I ate first actual meal since last Monday. I snacked a lot today, mostly on crackers and I will admit that I had a few cookies. I want to start getting body and self back into gear soon, the only thing I'm dreading when I get back to school is the walk to the gym. It's gonna be MISERABLE. By the time I get there, I'm probably just going to want to curl up and die. Lol. Anyway. Silly little update, hopefully I will get back into the swing of things soon.

Rebekah :: Yeah, I'm doing okay, but I know I've got a lot of work to do. I think I'm going to try to get a workout in tomorrow, though I've felt physically horrible for days now and I have no real high-quality food other than I still have bunches of veggies.

[MissJenaKay]

Okay, I actually tracked food today, I just don't feel like posting it up here today, I'm just not really in the mood.

[MissJenaKay]

Okay, I may not be doing the best job with food and exercise right now, but I'm definitely going to try to ease back into things. Lots of fun things to talk about when I get the chance to write about them.

12:15 Wake Up

12:25 (Crappy, I know.)
-- 1 c Shredded Wheat
-- 1/2 c Fat Free Milk
-- 1 c Hot Cocoa :: 1 c fat free milk with 1 packet Land O'Lakes Tiramisu Flavour cocoa mix

5:18 Workout (Just wanted a short one today)
-- Click Did that one. :]
-- scores - High Knees :: 56, 47, 45, 40, 41, 40 || Mountain Climbers (I haaate these things) :: 26, 19, 16, 18, 15, 22

6:05
-- 8 fl oz Fat free milk with 1 scoop whey protein
-- 2 slices white bread
-- 2 tbs peanutbutter

6:35 (Parents made me eat with them, lol)
-- Spinach Salad :: 3/4 c baby spinach leaves, 3 oz baby carrots, 1 clementine orange, 1/4 c fat free cheese, italian dressing (not a lot but I forgot to measure)

[MissJenaKay]

8:46 Wake Up

9:22
-- 1/2 c All Whites Egg Whites
-- 3 oz Petite Carrots
-- 1 tbs carrots

11:25 Workout
-- Click That one. :] Had to modify the dive bombers (from knees) and reverse push-ups (Modified how I counted them because technically I did 0 every time with the reverse push-ups, but I counted the ones that I at least got some movement with)
-- Scores -- Dynamic Squats :: 20, 18, 17, 14, 11, 12 || Reverse Push-Ups :: 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 || Dive Bomber :: 6, 4, 3 1/2, 4, 2, 3

12:15
-- 1 packet Quaker Instant Oatmeal, Apples and Cinnamon flavour
-- 8 fl oz Fat Free Milk with 1 scoop whey protein

3:10
-- 1 biscuit

5:00
-- 1 small potato, baked
-- 1/2 c Squash
-- 4 oz beef blade steak
-- 1 tbs sour cream

8:12
-- 8 fl oz of milk with 1 scoop protein powder
-- 3 oz Carrots

[MissJenaKay]

8:46 Wake Up

I know, CRAZY right?

[Boss Man]

So you woke up unusually early at 8:46, looked out of one window and saw a little bit of leftover darkness, on what you thought was the wrong side of the sky and went, "What the frickin hell is that darkness doing over there? It's in the wrong place!!!"

[MissJenaKay]

Lol. Thaaaaanks Boss. I'm a university student on holiday. Up until this week, I was catching up on all the sleep stupid roommate cost me.

[MissJenaKay]

I'm in the car right now headed out to Chicago. diet will suck today, but I should be good once we get to cousin's house. : ) I thought I'd just update you guys on what's going on in life right now.

[fit-fanatic-2025]

I couldn't believe eyes when i saw what time that was posted at. I thought i was dreaming for a second.

Drive safe! or if you are flying fly safe!

[MissJenaKay]

Hahaha. Thanks, I had already been up for two hours when I posted that. We drive all the way to Chicago, so we leave really early in the morning. Which mean, yes, amazingly, I'm capable of waking up really early. I moved in yesterday and spent the day with a friend and he stayed the night and I'm regretting that decision. But today is first full day back at school and I'm gonna chill. I'll start back with tracking food and everything tomorrow. (I think).

[fit-fanatic-2025]

Glad you made it safe! How many hours does that take? New York to me seems so far away from chicago but you got there pretty quick.