Jena's Journal.

[MissJenaKay]

There is always a reason not to work out.

There is always a better reason to get up and do it.

Not necessarily.

[MissJenaKay]

Fighting against CVD isn't a good reason?

Well there's no guarantee that not exercising will ensure you get it and there's no real guarantee that exercising will mean that you won't.

[MissJenaKay]

You are the only person that can change your behavior. Believe it or not, there are people here who do care about you, and you've got 12 pages of proof. We can offer advice and motivation and everything else, but ultimately it is your decision and your choice.

Good Luck. I know that you can do it, you just have to make the choice.

Thanks, Les. I'm trying to work hard, but I have no motivation anymore... I feel like I'm wasting time since I feel no better about myself, I look no better, nothing has changed except I'm wasting several hours in a gym every week. I just wish I'd see some progress...

[MissJenaKay]

Warning: Advanced apology for language, I'm in an absolutely horrid mood.

(1) Waking up late. You can wake up whenever you want if you make the choice to. I used to sleep through every alarm, even though I'd set three, so I finally got an alarm made for heavy sleepers that is too annoying to ignore. Also, regular exercise and healthy eating will help you sleep regularly and wake refreshed.

I have two scenarios that occur for days I wake up late::
1 - I hear alarms, I just, instead of hitting snooze, manage to turn them off.
2 - roommate has been unsetting alarm. As in, she turns it off so it doesn't go off so I don't have the choice of hearing it or not.

(2) Food. Yogurt and granola is full of sugar. Baby carrots aren't enough to sustain you. Cheese pizza and fried cheese...I'm not even going to go there. I also don't think you can "cheat" when you're not really following a healthy meal plan. In this example, you only had one meal and two snacks. You need to be eating 6 small meals, or at least 3 decently sized meals and two snacks (all of which include some kind of protein). You've said conflicting things about your food options...that you can't find any healthy options and that the school is committed to providing healthy (or organic?) food. Brent made tons of suggestions that you could try.

On a day that I wake up on time, I do eat 6 meals. Have you not seen the days of the week that I didn't up? I get so bored with eating the same thing every day it makes me want to slit wrists. And I don't see where Brent suggested a lot. He suggested a lot of don'ts I don't know the dos... I don't know what is okay to eat and what isn't. Also, I can't just demand that school provide certain foods. Sure, there's a grocery store but I have a tiny fridge, nowhere to cook other than a microwave and I'm not made of money. I have no job so I can't afford groceries on top of school expenses.

You are not seeing progress because you are (a) saying you're not going to the gym and (b) eating crappy food.

I go to the gym, this week has just sucked in that department.
I can't help but eat what I have available to me from school.

I'm very frustrated with this thread because I feel like I AM doing everything right and I don't see any progress myself. I exercise for at least an hour at least 6 days a week. cardiovascular health is awesome. I eat very clean, and I hardly ever "cheat." I don't even eat out anymore unless I'm on vacation. I have a thyroid problem and a genetic makeup that make it very easy to make excuses. I'm still fat. And sometimes, yes, I get frustrated when I stay the same weight and wear the same size clothes for an entire year even though I'm working off. Do I give up? No. I want to be healthy for myself and future children. I want parents to be proud of me. I want to be proud of myself. I worked hard to change diet and exercise plan until I finally started seeing some results.

Quick question: Are you at a plateau or have you never seen any progress?
If it's the latter, then I know how you feel. If it's a plateau, I've seen no progress since I started. THAT is why 'm frustrated.

If you stick to a healthy mealplan and exercise regularly for one month and don't see any results, then come back and complain about being frustrated. If your diet still includes cereal and cake and fried cheese and pizza, it doesn't count. Go ahead and try and see what happens. You've got nothing to lose but fat. If you respond with excuses, then I don't think you should complain about not seeing progress.

Okay. Cake = Birthday was this week and people on floor surprised those that had birthdays in the past three months with a party this week, I didn't want the cake or cookie, I was made to.
Pizza / Fried Cheese Today = It was the only place open when I went for meal today. Sorry, I can't demand they open somewhere else.

I admit. I up, a lot. I know it and I hate myself for it. I always do. I hate myself all the time, every mistake I make makes me disgusted.

Sorry if that is bitchy. I just don't think it's fair to constantly complain when you haven't even given our advice a fair shot.

Be bitchy if you want, I'm used to getting nothing but yelled at, it's kinda how I'm treated by everyone I know.

[MissJenaKay]

Got a cell phone? Turn that alarm on and put it by your pillow.

cellphone IS two out of four alarms I set.

The days that start with sugary cereal and include ham sandwiches? Brent did suggest a lot of things you could do to sub things out. And you *can* demand that your school serve better food. You pay money to go there, so you have a say. I also can't imagine a place where they won't just grill you a piece of chicken to put on a salad. Or, heck, get a grilled chicken sandwich and toss the bun. I've never been to a buffet-type place, or campus food court, that can't do something like that. Didn't Les say she lived near where you are now? Maybe she has some better ideas.

I pay money to go here and I pay for the food too. I hate being an inconvenience since that's all I've ever been in life. Also, the times that the different places say they'll be open are never correct. So I can't plan, I never know if things are going to be open even if they say that they are. Also, the salad place is separate from the pizza place, it's only open during lunch time. Also, as far as demanding better food.

A) I don't have the guts to do it
B) They won't listen to just one person
c) I don't even know who to go to.

campus is not a buffet or a food court it's like a bunch of mini restaurants.

You can help what you eat, anywhere you are. Yes, sometimes it's boring. As one of Brent's favorite people says, you eat boring food to have an exciting body. Here you go: http://www.bunklers.com/Eating.html I think she also has a food list suggestion there.

I'll check it out, and if I can't enjoy doing this, I know I won't care enough to continue, I need to be able to eat a variety of things.

I'm just finally coming off a plateau I've had for years and years. And I'm telling you that the reason you haven't seen progress is because you haven't really tried. It might seem like you're trying, and you're starting to make better choices, but you can't get frustrated when your diet is heavy in simple carbohydrates/sugars.

I'm retarded in knowing what to eat, if I could get an actual plan and not just a "hey, this is bad" it'd help me a lot more.

No one can make me eat anything I don't want to. That's ridiculous to say unless they tied you to a pole and force-fed you. You can also plan your meals around what's open or get food to keep for leftovers if you know nothing else will be open. Also, doesn't every pizza place have a salad? Find reasons to NOT hate yourself. Be kind to yourself. You know, that whole "your body is a temple" thing? It's true. Get healthy and soooooo many other things fall into place.

No, they can't force me to eat what I don't want to, but they can make me feel guilty as all get out about not participating in something they planned partly for me.
Salad place is separate from the pizza place.
Also, why the hell should I be kind to myself when I obviously never do anything right? I'm a horrible person and I don't want to like myself because I don't deserve it.

That's why I feel bad coming across this way. I have a feeling people treat you this way because you won't listen to anything else. You leave yourself open for it. You expect it. You put yourself in situations where it happens. You haven't made the choice to commit and live your life. We try to be nice and coddle you and you just make excuses, so we start screaming. It's not a very healthy relationship. So...since I'm obviously not helping, I'm going to say best of luck and not comment on this thread anymore. If you find any of advice helpful and/or have any questions that you think I can help with, let me know. I used to be 238 lbs and wear a size 22. I am now 172 lbs and wear a size 10-12. I know a little bit about what I'm talking about and I know how hard it is to make the changes necessary to live. But step one is to drop the excuses, and I can't say anything else until that happens. I honestly wish you the best of luck, and I sincerely apologize if I've offended you in any way.

I listen to what works. When I'm just given suggestions that I don't know how to/can't implement, how am I suppose to listen?
Please don't just give up and stop commenting, what you say actually does matter to me, even when I make excuses and such. So please continue to comment, I know it feels like wasted breath and it probably is... I'm sorry for that.

I think I may just give up on everything. I hate life, I hate everything, I don't even know why I bother anymore...

[fit-fanatic-2025]

Hey Jena,

Don't get discouraged. It will happen. College is tough by itself let alone trying to eat clean 24/7 like you have said when living in the dorm. I'm not saying you shouldn't strive to eat healthy just I can understand having moments where you don't.

Maybe for a week or two just focus on eating healthy as much as you can (ITs also thanksgiving so this might be tough.) and also estimating and keeping track of the amount of calories your eating along with fat, carbs, protein etc. I know its hard to estimate but try and then that may give Boss and others a good idea for what you should. do from there. Just a thought. Exercise is important too so try to keep it up as well. See after two weeks if you've lost any and go from there.

Its just a thought. All i know is you can't give up.

[MissJenaKay]

Hey Jena,

Don't get discouraged. It will happen. College is tough by itself let alone trying to eat clean 24/7 like you have said when living in the dorm. I'm not saying you shouldn't strive to eat healthy just I can understand having moments where you don't.

Maybe for a week or two just focus on eating healthy as much as you can (ITs also thanksgiving so this might be tough.) and also estimating and keeping track of the amount of calories your eating along with fat, carbs, protein etc. I know its hard to estimate but try and then that may give Boss and others a good idea for what you should. do from there. Just a thought. Exercise is important too so try to keep it up as well. See after two weeks if you've lost any and go from there.

Its just a thought. All i know is you can't give up.

I'm going home on Tuesday, access to food at home is much different than access to food here. access to workout equipment at home is non existent by the way, so I'll most likely just be doing a lot of cardio since I won't have weights to work with.

At home I used to read every label. But since I can't here at school, I've not been keeping track of things as well.

I'll do the best I can while I'm at home.

Got a cell phone? Turn that alarm on and put it by your pillow.

Haha OMG, I take mine and put it on vibrate and stick it in pillowcase. Talk about a rude awakening, holy cow.

Yeah, I put phone alarm on vibrate then sound, so it vibrates then does an alarm. I think biggest problem with not getting up on time is that I'm so afraid to wake stupid roommate up that I try to make the alarm stop making noise as soon as possible.

[MissJenaKay]

bodyrock.tv

this is something brent suggested awhile back.

I'll check it out

[fit-fanatic-2025]

I just wanted to add Jena. When i was your age i couldn't get up early either. And i too was afraid of waking roommate up. I"m a morning person now, But it took me a long time time to get body on that early morning routine. So i can understand your frustration.

[MissJenaKay]

7:45 Wake up

8:18 Workout - http://www.bodyrock.tv/2010/10/17/4-min ... t-workout/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; ((I didn't keep "score" like she did, I kept losing count... :/ But got I got around 40s for highknees and around 20s for mountain climbers each time))

8:30
-- 1 packet plain Kirkland Organic Instant Oatmeal (Cooked with water, no sugar, nothing) [[Cal :: 150, Prot :: 6g, Fat :: 2.5g, Carb :: 27g, Fiber :: 4g, Sugar 2g]]
-- 16 oz Water
-- 1 scoop whey protein [[Cal :: 100, Prot :: 15g, Fat :: 1.5g, Carb :: 7g, Fiber :: 3g, Sugar 3g]]

9:30 Workout Again (Got bored)
-- http://www.bodyrock.tv/2010/11/19/550-rep-fat-massacre/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; Did it in 20 minutes, but there are a few things I had to modify because I don't have the strength to do them correctly. So, I'm not going to really count the time... Followed this workout with a bunch of nice stretches.

12:00
-- 5 oz (I think) Omelette :: Mushroom, Peppers, Onions [[Not sure of nutrition data]]
-- 8 fl oz Apple Juice [[Cal :: 110, Prot :: <1g, Fat :: 0g, Carb :: 27g, Fiber :: 0g, Sugar 25g]] (Wayy too high in sugar. Should have gotten water, I'll keep that in mind for next time)

3:00
-- Salad :: Spring greens mix, grilled chicken, walnuts, dried cranberries, apples, bleu cheese crumbles, 2 fl oz Italian dressing (Would have gotten more veggies, but the salad bar was closed and this was a prepacked salad and the only one without a cream dressing)
-- 20 fl oz Water

6:13
-- Burrito Bowl :: Pork, Black Beans, Rice, Sauteed Peppers and Onions, Sour cream. (Cut out the cheese this time and they had no corn. )

9:05 (Probably not the best meal for at night, but it was either this or pizza. I chose this)
-- 1 Packet Quaker Instant Oatmeal - Apples and Cinnamon Flavour
-- 1 scoop Whey Protein [[Cal :: 100, Prot :: 15g, Fat :: 1.5g, Carb :: 7g, Fiber :: 3g, Sugar 3g]]


@ Les :: Yeah I've peeked through a few journals now and then. I just haven't had any reasons to read through them from beginning to end. I might looked into reading one in it's entirety, but I don't know.

@ Rebekah :: Thing is, I AM a morning person. Well, I am when I'm allowed to go to bed when I want to. But when stupid roommate is up and making noise and having lights on until arouns 3-5 AM, I can't go to sleep at 10:30-11:00 like I want to.

[fit-fanatic-2025]

Thing is, I AM a morning person. Well, I am when I'm allowed to go to bed when I want to. But when stupid roommate is up and making noise and having lights on until arouns 3-5 AM, I can't go to sleep at 10:30-11:00 like I want to.

That's tough. That's hard when you have a roommate that's not real considerate like that. I wish i could think of some good advice but besides switching roommates or getting your own room I can't think of anything for that and ofcourse asking her to be a little more considerate so late at night. I guess just do the best you can do for now.

[MissJenaKay]

Thing is, I AM a morning person. Well, I am when I'm allowed to go to bed when I want to. But when stupid roommate is up and making noise and having lights on until arouns 3-5 AM, I can't go to sleep at 10:30-11:00 like I want to.

That's tough. That's hard when you have a roommate that's not real considerate like that. I wish i could think of some good advice but besides switching roommates or getting your own room I can't think of anything for that and ofcourse asking her to be a little more considerate so late at night. I guess just do the best you can do for now.

There's no where I could switch to, she's second roommate, first one wanted a bigger room and moved to a different room on the floor. This new girl came in weekend of Halloween. I like her as a person, she's sweet, she's just extremely annoying and inconsiderate.

[Boss Man]

Jena, of course you are worth it, so don't start giving yourself your own kick in the teeth, that's counterproductive.

You keep talking about yourself like you're nothing, when you're not. You need to look at your past and look at where you are now. You're here now and some wouldn't be, so stop underestimating yourself .

You contradict yourself yourself a lot. I want this, followed by I can't that. You can't keep making it sound like you want things, when you end up looking like someone that can't or won't.

We won't give up on but if you give up on yourself that's what will happen.

Keep believing in you, because you ARE worth believing in and you will only be a failure when you give up.

[MissJenaKay]

Jena, of course you are worth it, so don't start giving yourself your own kick in the teeth, that's counterproductive.

You keep talking about yourself like you're nothing, when you're not. You need to look at your past and look at where you are now. You're here now and some wouldn't be, so stop underestimating yourself .

You contradict yourself yourself a lot. I want this, followed by I can't that. You can't keep making it sound like you want things, when you end up looking like someone that can't or won't.

We won't give up on but if you give up on yourself that's what will happen.

Keep believing in you, because you ARE worth believing in and you will only be a failure when you give up.

Thanks as always for your support, Boss.

[MissJenaKay]

Food:
Protein - eggs, meat, fish, powder, etc
Veggies - brocoli, caul, spinach, carrots, cuc, lots of others
Starch carb - potatoes, rice, pasta, bread, oatmeal
Before you eat, ask:
Where is the protein?
Where are the veggies?
You must have both of these each time you eat.
Only eat starchie carbs after you workout or in other words, earn them.
Drink lots of water
Every meal do this - make sense?
Kashi Go Lean Crunch is highly processed starch carbs and sugar mixed in the hairy armpits of tree-hugger chicks, stop eating that stuff. However, nice work to log that information though, really nice.
Milk is full of steriods and growth hormone and your body is reacting to it like poison. Try going without it. However, good job to log that info.
Your breakfast the other day with the organic oatmeal and protein right after your workout was spot-on.
Oh yeah...if you eat cake and a cookie, this does not make you a horrible or disgusting person, it makes you a cake/cookie eater and its fine. Strive for 90% compliance or even 80% and you'll fly.
If you can afford to buy a thing of greens plus then do so and keep it in your mini-fridge. When all else fails have a protein shake and mix in a scoop of greens plus and this can be a replacement meal. It looks gross but its actually quite tasty.
Keep loggin your food but give this a try and see if the weight moves.

I'll implement these types of things once I get home. It's two days before winter break so I can't buy anything that I can't eat in the next day.
I bought a turkey sandwich on wheat bread for breakfast, but I can't do a workout tomorrow morning so I'll just eat the turkey and lettuce off it I guess and I'll drink a Naked. Tomorrow for lunch I can get a salad, I would have gotten one for dinner today, but the salad place is not open on weekends. Tuesday is going to be a VERY bad day for me food-wise since I'll be showing family around the city and then I'll be in a car. So 1) I'll most likely be eating rather unhealthily and 2) I don't know if I'll even have time to log food on Tuesday. Just to warn you.

By the way, there's nothing wrong with tree-huggers. I'm a tree-hugger myself. :]
As for cutting out milk, is soy milk okay? Because I tried the protein powder wit water today and it was gross, I choked it down though because I wasn't going to waste the stuff. If soy milk is better, then I'll definitely switch over. I've tried soy milk and almond milk before and I don't mind them, they're a little bitter unsweetened, but I imagine it'd be better than water.

I told momma that when I come back from break we're going to go shopping and buy a bunch of healthy stuff so I can try to avoid having to go to the student center quite so much.

What do you think?