New Body for December 2009!!

[newmami]

Thank you Lesplease! As always, a great fountain of information. Is good to know what & why you eat these foods. Specially fruits, which I like very much & haven't done so as much as I want to because of the sugar in them.
Today (Friday) was very hectic. Lots of things to do. But did workout this morning & had the energy to finish everything I had on TO DO LIST. Didn't walk after lunch because It felt very cold to me. Hope tomorrow is warmer. Love Halloween, specially if the weather is nice. Planning to dress as Lady Gaga. She dresses weird, sexy & I like it! Have a nice black short, tight dress w/ black high heel boots & a black small hat w/ black veil (mesh on front) Like black widows wear on movies. or might do pony tails, cut the red wig I have & mix hair w/ red strands on pony tail. Haven't decided yet. Will do smoky eyes & shinny red lips. Have a see through tunic with feathers on sleeves ( hubby's favorite) but to make it Funky & weird, will pin silver christmas streamers on the bottom of the dress & boots & will have a christmas ornament (looks like a disco ball) on top of hat & a wand with a smaller disco ball on top (Lady Gaga disco ball outfit ). Or maybe (as son suggested), Lady Gaga's red outfit from the grammy's but in black (I have a black leotard) & a black mask w/ a red hair piece. Don't know yet, will let you know what I did. Might change, it all depends on son's choice. Last year, last minute thing, he wanted to dress as Pirates of the Caribbean. At party city that was very expensive, but went to Kmart on the same day, put EVERYTHING together (wig, earing, boots...) for only 20 buck . He looked sooo good, he won 1st prize in school & at a contest in our town ($100). I was a pirate too. We looked the same, really cool. So, will see. Anyways, schedule today went like this:
Breakfast: scrambled egg whites specialty w/ whole wheat bread, 1/2 banana & 1/2 cup d. pepsi & 1 cup of water
Workout: Did upper & lower w/ weights
Snack: banana split (1/2 banana & 1 teaspoon of Nestquick)& scoop of protein shake
Lunch: Grilled turkey burger w/onions, red peppers, tomatoes, mushrooms & side salad & 1 bottle of water (NO BREAD )
Big achievement since I LOOOVE bread! And NO mochas so far (I miss it very much)
Snack: 1/4 cup mixed nuts w/ 1/2 apple (good try since I don't like it much) & 1 cup of water
Dinner: 1/2 cup brown rice, 3oz chicken breast grilled & stir fry veggies & side salad & 1 bottle of water
Workout: Tae bo video & 6 min abs & jumped rope for 5 minutes without stopping (SWEATING still)
Snack: Banana split protein shake (YUMMO!) Love Rachel Ray
Well, have to go. Need beauty rest for tomorrow. To look like Lady Gaga is going to be VERY hard, since she has a body to die for. Me....still under reconstruction But I'll be the best darn Lady Gaga I can be. That's for sure! Plus, I'll be doing it more for the fun of it & to see kids faces (they think I'm a little crazy) but they brag about it to their friends & even show pictures . So, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! OOOH! I'll be cheating just a little . I'm allowing myself a bite size KIT KAT to celebrate

[Boss Man]

As long as you don't sing like Lady Gaga, no offense but I don't get her stuff, it's all manufactured garbage .

I'm sure you'll look fine .

[Boss Man]

Ironically that's a good thing. To some it might look good, but people have and can get things like Tendonitis, Calf problems, damaged Ankles and in one case on TV, I saw an X-ray of someone who had Ankle bones kind of shear, and they had to apparently then have Ankle pins, to correct the bone damage, because they wore heels quite a lot.

[newmami]

Can read , can read poker face...OMG! Had a blast tonight! Lots of people wanted to take pictures with me. I did, nobody will recognize me anyways. I wore black tight mini dress. Had the tunic w/ feathers, boots & hat w/black veil and straigthen hair ( hair is long) and added some of the strands of the silver streamers (attached them by braiding into hair). make up was AWESOME! I don't use makeup (don't know how to) but friend (dressed as cat) did it for me. God she is sooo good. Also added some of the streamers all over dress. Honestly, looked like a mourning christmas tree . hubby said I looked HOT. kids were invited to a halloween party, so when we dropped them off, they went crazy with me! I thought I was the real Lady Gaga . They were taking pictures with me & asking me to sing "poker face", singing with me, dancing & didn't want to let us go to our party. I got 15 minutes of fame . hubby was a rocker warewolf. Leather jacket, jeans, black boots, warewolf mask w/ long hair & metal chains hanging all over & an electric guitar ( son's guitar hero ). friend: a sexy cat & her husband: a cat on diapers? very confusing. But we had a lot of fun. We danced, got lots of candy (gave them away-but kept the chocolates ) & ate. Before, I had gone trick o treating around the neighborhood w/ youngest son-a modern vampire/rocker. He looked very cool too. He also had a guitar hero. oldest (party pooper) didn't wear any custom/mask. But he had lots of fun on behalf. He was very proud of me, cause he kept holding hands & hugging me (he wanted everybody to see he was with me). Anyways...great night & great day to. day went like this:
Workout: Walked in intervals (30min) & did stairs (15min)
Snack: Banana split protein shake
Breakfast: Tuna fish sandwich (whole wheat) & 1/2 cup d. pepsi
Snack: 5 strawberries & 1/4 cup mixed nuts & 1/2 string cheese
Lunch: Grilled chicken salad w/ 1 slice avocado & 1 bottle of water
Snack: small orange & 1/4 cup cottage cheese
Workout: Dance, Dance, Dance
Dinner: Grilled chicken breast, stir fry veggies & side salad & 1 bottle of water (at party) they had lots of fried foods & lots of sweets, but chose carefully
Workout: Kept dancing-non stop
Snack: 1 bite size Kit Kat bar & 1 bottle of water (THIRSTY w/ all that dancing)
STILL DANCING (until 11:30-went to pick up our kids) Sad the party was over for us .
But hopefully, we will have next year...

[newmami]

Sunday: Hectic day. Started day with a little HIIT. Almost got kicked out of the house with all the jumping noise . Finished workout & was going to have a protein smoothie, but knew I was not only going to be kicked out, but banned from own house. So, decide to have a simple omelette. Went food shopping & bought weekly healthy necessities. Got home made lunch & started with the cleaning. Took me most of the day. At 5 kids wanted me to go with them to play basketball. But they changed their mind and ended up playing football (not cup of tea). The only thing I know is you catch the ball, don't let anybody jump on you & cross the line for a touchdown. Honestly, I was running around like a headless chicken. At one point caught the ball kept running & made a touchdown...for the other team . Hey! nobody told me which way . oldest son was sooo happy. youngest was mad (they always play against each other). Fixed the problem! Made a touchdown for team! I think...No, I'm sure. Anyway, we won by one point. UNBELIEVABLE...they invited me again. Either they like laughing at me or with me, but they did. At home, kids were arguing who I was going to play with next time (I'm loving it ). Made dinner & then, they started playing around w/ Hula Hoop & somehow it turned into a big competition. Why? Cause in house, everything turns into competition (not a friendly one). Well, it lasted 1 hour. I don't drink alcohol at all, but I was definately drunk with all that turning . They even wanted to keep on going. Why? Coudn't accept I won. BOYS! I still love them. Decided to stop & write on log before I pass out. Well, crazy day went like this:
Workout: HIIT jumping for 30 minutes & 60 squats
Breakfast: Simple egg white omellete w/ whole wheat bread, 1/2 banana & 1/2 cup of d. pepsi & 1 cup of water
Walked around the supermarket for 20 minutes
Snack: small bowl of fruits & 1 cup of water
CLEAN, CLEAN & MORE CLEANING...
Lunch: Grilled chicken breast w/ veggies & big chef salad & 1 bottle of water
Snack: 1/4 cottage cheese & bits of pineapples & 1 cup of water
Workout: Play football for 2 hours (more like running around )
Dinner: whole wheat pasta w/ veggies & 1 grilled turkey sausage w/ side salad & 1 bottle of water
Workout: Hula Hoop for 1 hour (CRAZY)
Snack: Strawberry protein smoothie (YUMM!)
Today was exhausting, crazy & a bit of a learning experince (with football). I say: It's never to late .

[Nokie173]

You sure had a good workout! I really do enjoy reading your log & your family time! It's awesome
Keep it up woman.. you're doing a GREAT JOB!

[newmami]

Thanks Nokie173! Love having you and everyone who reads entries with me in this journey. I try to be as honest as possible. Sometimes is hard, since I also try to keep some things private. But it's freeing to talk about weight issues & specially, "ugly " issue which has been one of biggest secret/shame. It might be something silly to everybody else, but to me is a very shamefull thing. I used to wear & sleep in all sorts of shapewear (to firm it & keeo it tight )& wear those cute blouses that kinda look like maternity clothes. All to hide the bulge. I've been ok with weight, but the & the fact that I have big boobs don't help. hubby says doesn't look bad at all, but it does to me. It's in head...CONSTANTLY. Specially when I'm naked. CONFESSION: I've been reading The Secret. In one of the chapters it talks about the secret & your body & the three steps: Ask, Believe & Recieve. It tells you to have a mental picture of the "perfect body" & weight you want, believing you already have it because the positive & wishful thinking attracts it & the Universe will make it happen (Receive). Since I'm a firm believer of POSITIVE thinking (tell me about it!) & to prove it, have had "Dream board" in bedroom for the past 3 years, decided to do it. Taped a few cut outs on mirror, among them Jennifer Lopez's butt, Megan Fox's curves, etc. I know...too much to ask . But, every time I look at myself naked, It's really HARD to believe I already have a flat when you see it bulging over your panties . Therefore, it makes it hard to receive. But, I decided to "change" toughts & BELIEVE & RECEIVE. So, I say: Hey! If the Universe wants to be giving to me, I will gladly receive. Ok, back to reality. I'm grateful with what I have....just need a little improvement. NO! BIG improvement . But, I'm working on it. Like I said before, I'm in the "Renovation/Reconstruction" phase. Waiting to finish looong, haaard, slooow process . But hanging in there! Will see what happens. Well, have to go. Will post later on. workout clock is ticking...You see, never ending job

[Boss Man]

You're right, the stomach thing could sound a bit silly to some, or one of those, "why do you do that, when you don't need to things".

Personally having read what you said, I understand this is a minor psychological thing you have, that you can get over, but it is you living in your skin, not your husband. He clearly sounds like he's saying what he feels is right and you're certainly not someone, who thinks you'd look better weighing 90lbs, which you wouldn't, so your want to change this a bit, is perfectly normal, healthly and is something you shouldn't feel concern or worry about.

It's another part of you, you want to change for the better. There's no shame in wanting healthy, physical change, it's admirable and more people should do it, for numerous reasons.

So don't ever feel shame about yourself. Making the changes and being slow, steady, patient and not hard on yourself, will slowly develop more acceptance of how you look, which ultimately is a key thing you are striving for.

You're not redefining yourself as someone completely different, that people may hate or not recognise. it's not about new clothes, attitude to people, etc etc, except for how you look, because you have had a few physical issues, but never issues with personality or humanitarian ability, as far as I can see.

So the main thing here is not to be ashamed of yourself. You are clearly from an emotional and mental perspective, quite a beautiful person. Your attitude on here says it all and if anything about you is a reason to feel shame, then we should all shoulder some of your shame, because we none of us are perfect, and have one or two things we look back on wish we hadn't done or said.

However this is not the past, this is the here and now and the transition for you, to a better, brighter future, so don't use your past to judge yourself, use your current efforts to judge yourself.

You're not doing anything in vain, or to achieve something impossible, so don't worry about it for a moment. Just be proud of yourself and proud of the person you are today. We know it's been hard sometimes and in ways good people shouldn't have to know, but it's made you the person you are today, and for whatever bad has occured, I would think it has never changed the person you are inside, which is a very positive thing.

Where others could have crumbled, or reacted badly towards life, you have remained the sort of person you should be, and many others should strive to be like.

You have no shame, except in your head. Use achievement and associated pride to banish shame.

Your family clearly have nothing to feel shame about where you're concerned, you shouldn't either. Neither do we. We are proud of you, are you?

.

[newmami]

Lesplease... you're right! they don't care. But is a good thing for me cause their treatment makes me feel younger, keeps me in shape & in a weird way, accepted by them (they forget who I am & how old...cool ). Also, love your beautiful wiggles & his hat collection LOL.
Boss Man...Thank you for your beautiful words. You are soooo kind. Are you a poet? Certainly a motivational speaker, cause everytime I read your comments, makes me feel good about myself & makes me want to do better & work harder. I've never thought of being proud of myself, but thankful. As for body image, I do feel a little shame, not going to lie. But like you say, I can get over it & I will... I promise. I don't want a perfect body (I wish ), but I'm aiming for a stronger, healthier and why not?..a better looking me . I'm working hard at it (sometimes struggling) but I'm doing it for me & in the long run, for family. Like grandma used to say: "Always make Yourself happy first, cause when your happy, everybody around you IS happy". new version: "Always make yourself happy & healthy, cause when your are, everybody around you will be". Well, with that said, day went like this:
Breakfast: Oatmeal w/ eggwhite & 1/2 banana & 1 cup of water
Workout: Abs & upper body (3 sets of 20) standing pushups (can't do regular pushups), squats, forward lunges, shoulder press, bicep curls, mountain climber, dips, bicycle & squats w/ 5lbs weight. 3 sets of 25 seconds plank. Followed by: 6 sets of 20 seconds sprint & 30 sec walk. (Lord Have Mercy!)
Snack: Strawberry protein shake w/ 1/2 banana (YUMM!) & 1 cup of water (15 min later)
Lunch: Grilled chicken salad w/ 1 slice of avocado & lt. italian dressing & 1 bottle of water
Snack: 1/4 cottage cheese w/ bits of pineapple & 1 cup of water
Dinner: 1/2 cup of brown rice, 3 oz grilled tilapia & side salad & 1 bottle of water
Workout: Walked for 30 minutes & HIIT jumping (20 minutes)
Snack: 1/2 protein smoothie
Feel very tired & ready to shower & hit the sack . Ready to conquer another day. Bring it on!

[Nokie173]

Lesplease... you're right! they don't care. But is a good thing for me cause their treatment makes me feel younger, keeps me in shape & in a weird way, accepted by them (they forget who I am & how old...cool ). Also, love your beautiful wiggles & his hat collection LOL.

WIGGLES IS A LIL LADY AND YOU WILL DO WELL TO REMEMBER THAT, MISSY!!

LoL.... Awww.. come on Les, give the lady a break... she was Tired....
P.S. Wiggles is spoiled!

[newmami]

Sorry Les ...Big Mistake. Need glasses.

[Boss Man]

Newmami, you don't have to make promises at all . Promises however well intentioned can be broken. Why let yourself if you missed a target by even a small amount?

I never do it anymore, I might say things like you have word, or I guarantee I will try ....., but I don't like a promise, as it seems 100% completely final, as if even with the best will in the world, to fail would be a total betrayal or letdown of the people you make promises to.

No I'm not a poet, but I'm glad that I am able to say things that make a difference to people. That's always been the primary reason for being here. It's not to look good, look clever, or anything like that, it's because good people deserve help to be better, so whatever I do that helps is a plus.

People like you are the only reason I need to be here. I'm proud of actions and proud of the actions of those I communicate with.

The main thing you need to do is not make promises, just remind yourself you're worth this, and worth the time you take to improve yourself. That way there is not as much pressure to succeed, so it remains more enjoyable.

[newmami]

Boss Man... I agree with you 100%. I shouldn't promise. But somehow (in mind) I feel that when I make a promise, to me, is a "binding contract" I need to fulfil no matter what. Honestly, It has truly worked for me. Confession: Let's just say that in one of the many very critical times in life, I've ended up making a promise to kids that helped me get strenght I didn't know I had left, to not fail them. And here I am . But I get what your saying. Therefore, I'll rephrase by saying: I'll try best to get over shame (on issue), be a healthier/stronger person & a better looking me .
By the way, I'm not going to lie. It has been a haaard, slooow, looong road. But, in a crazy way, it has been a fun & adventurous learning experience. family will agree with me on that. So, beacause I enjoy it....I will continue. With that said, day went as follows:
Breakfast: Cream of wheat w/ egg white & 1/2 banana & 1 cup of water
Workout: abs only (6 min. abs video & jackie 1 0n 1 core)
Snack: Banana split protein shake
Lunch: Lean Cuisine grilled chicken w/ fettuccini & veggies (whole wheat), side salad & 1 bottle of water (liked it!)
walked 1/2 mile
Snack: peaches w/ 1/4 cup cottage cheese & 1 cup of water
Dinner: 3 oz grilled salmon w/ stir fry veggies (1 cup), side salad w/ 1 slice avocado & 1 bottle of water
Workout: walked for 45 minutes (in intervals-walk, sprint & jogged) It was too cold & windy felt about to have an asthma attack .
Snack: strawberry protein smoothie
Felt very good & pumped all day. I'm starting to notice a little change in back, butt & arms. Haven't taken pictures, but will soon. Tomorrow: planning to try something new: Hip Hop cardio dancing. I like the idea. Recruited kids and are very excited. Let's see how it goes since one of them has two left feet, the other one is very competitive & living room space is not big enough for two big egos (kids), a perfectionist (hubby) & a impatient/ pre-menapausal gal (me) .

[Boss Man]

Hey, no worries at all. You have to do this in a way that's

A: healthy.

B: a 100% comfortable approach for you.

I certainly would never tell you how you should or must feel, so inspite of what I said, of course I will support whatever way you choose to look at your situation. I know you're not doing anything you shouldn't, that's detrimental to you, so I would have no reason to urge caution right now.

The main thing is, it might be long and tough, but you're definitely capable of doing it, because you've already been doing it so, so well and I hope you can feel proud of yourself, like others do of you.

Keep up the hard work and well done .

[newmami]

Thank you BossMan!
Yesterday, Wednesday, day wan't as good as I had hoped for. Couldn't workout in the morning nor eat because it was "torture day" at Dr.'s (forgot all about it). It happens every three months, unfortunately. Anyways, by 12:00 I was starving, dizzie, sick & cold. Thank God I had brought a Ham, salami, low fat cheese, lettuce, tomatoes & l. mayo (packet) on whole wheat bread & can of d. pepsi with me. I was so hungry I forgot to put the mayo (calories saved ). After swallowing brunch, I walked about 1 1/2 mile home. Needed that walk sooo bad. Walking relaxes me & makes me feel OK. I had Ipod full blast. Got home and decide to take a needed nap. Got up and made myself a smoothie. This time, own version of Mocha latte. It didn't taste like the real one, but at least it made me feel happy & up beat. Prepared dinner & sat comfy on sofa, ready to see the world series...which we won . (GO YANKEES)! Had planned to do the Hip Hop cardio video, but couldn't .

Today, Thursday, felt great! Got up early in the morning & did the Hip Hop video . It was fun, easy to follow & did a little sweating (not bad). Since it didn't feel like a workout to me, I did 3 sets of 20 squats, sumo squats, kick backs & dips. Can't do lunges for now (foot problem). Made breakfast & showered. The rest of the day went as usual, but after dinner, kids went to play soccer (I didn't- too cold for me) & I decided to do a "walking program" in living room. Walked (3 steps back & 3 forward ) for 30 minutes w/ "toning spurs" every 30 seconds (side steps, knee lifts, front kicks & butt kicks ( favorite). Did HIIT jumping, but only 3 sets. Didn't have the energy...don't know why? Got a call from an old friend from college. She's coming to New York on a business trip & wanted to go out for dinner in 10 days. OMG! That made me very happy, excited & anxious. Why? Don't know. I just want to look good. She is very athletic & fashion forward (well, she used to). So, I want to look good (it's a "girl" thing). Confession: after the call, did the whole entire Tae bo video . Changed strategy. Planning to do:
Friday (tomorrow): upper & lower body
Saturday: Intense cardio
Sunday: Off
Monday: abs & upper body
Tuesday: abs & cardio
Wednesday: abs & lower body
Thursday: abs & cardio
Friday: abs & upper
Saturday: abs & running (I'll try best)
Sunday: DINNER WITH FRIEND!
Let's change subject cause just thinking about it makes me want to workout more & I'm very tired . OK, deep breath. Not working. So, will take a shower & try to go to sleep....Not after I read a little to calm nerves down .