WOMEN!!! Need advice
Moderators: Boss Man, cassiegose
WOMEN!!! Need advice
I know this is a woman's forum but I figured I'd post here since i need a woman's advice. question how do you get another women motivated to loose weight? fiance is constantly complaining about her weight. I try to encourage her. We joined a gym but then stopped because she was too self conscious and i can't go because of work. So i bought a home gym and have tried to teach her exercises but she doesn't seem to want to use it . So ladies any advice on how to break the news gently that she needs to loose weight?
Hello!
Tell her that it is for good health and for the long term!
It’s not only exercising but it’s also eating healthy.
Maybe start by cooking and eating healthy food together and slowly bring the exercise.
I always complain to fiancé all the time how fat I am… LoL.. I think I blew out his ears!
Sometimes... Because of work and long hours I don't have time to cook.
But… he helps me a lot… He cooks healthy food and portion for me at home.
He even packs me breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks (depend how late I have to work)
For someone like me, it’s hard to be motivated if I don’t see some results.
But I think by working on your diet together she might see the difference.
Another idea is for her to join classes at the local gym…
Classes always helps… like Yoga, Spinning, Kick boxing, Pilate, etc…
Or when you guys have time on the weekends and it’s a nice day...
Go outside and have a nice jog or a hike around….
It’s always fun for her to be active!
But just to let you know… DON’T tell her she needs to LOOSE weight directly…
It might just discourage her… just try to work on your diets together and slowly try to be active…
When fiancé kinda of mentioned I was gaining weight sometime last year… Hell broke loose!!!!
He never mentioned it again… LOL… Instead… He just helps me!
That’s just input and hope it helps
Nokie
Tell her that it is for good health and for the long term!
It’s not only exercising but it’s also eating healthy.
Maybe start by cooking and eating healthy food together and slowly bring the exercise.
I always complain to fiancé all the time how fat I am… LoL.. I think I blew out his ears!
Sometimes... Because of work and long hours I don't have time to cook.
But… he helps me a lot… He cooks healthy food and portion for me at home.
He even packs me breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks (depend how late I have to work)
For someone like me, it’s hard to be motivated if I don’t see some results.
But I think by working on your diet together she might see the difference.
Another idea is for her to join classes at the local gym…
Classes always helps… like Yoga, Spinning, Kick boxing, Pilate, etc…
Or when you guys have time on the weekends and it’s a nice day...
Go outside and have a nice jog or a hike around….
It’s always fun for her to be active!
But just to let you know… DON’T tell her she needs to LOOSE weight directly…
It might just discourage her… just try to work on your diets together and slowly try to be active…
When fiancé kinda of mentioned I was gaining weight sometime last year… Hell broke loose!!!!
He never mentioned it again… LOL… Instead… He just helps me!
That’s just input and hope it helps
Nokie
You can lead her in the right direction, but you can't force her to do anything until she's ready. Set an example (if you already haven't) by doing instead of telling. Eventually, she may see your rewards and follow suit. She just has to be ready, willing, and able enough to take the plunge and begin a healthy lifestyle. Can you give her an incentive? Maybe a few new items for her wardrobe to motivate her if and when she succeeds? There's no magic pill or machine or miracle drug that can replace a healthy diet and exercise regime. Voicing your concern that you care about her health and want to have a long life with her will go a long way than harping on her daily to lose weight. So I agree with Nokie as she stated above.
K1ng,
husband worked out periodically but has always battled with his weight. Complained daily! As I grew, and grew and grew to the overweight status I was in back in December 08, he would always ask me to go with him for hikes, walks, bike rides etc. NEVER did I go - I wasn't interested in "moving" much less anything that resembled exercise - BUT, when I made up mind I became the fanatic that now motivates him - you see, I'm the positive one and I've worked hard and when he saw the results he got on board and is almost as fanatical as I am now
Be very careful - what you say or how you respond to her could be disasterous to your relationship. Just love her and get involved in the food you guys eat and the fun things you do that double as exercise like Nokie and Boopster said.
Good luck!
Lu
P.S. Do you have a wedding date? If not, pick one - it's amazing how getting into a beautiful dress to marry the man you love can motivate you!
husband worked out periodically but has always battled with his weight. Complained daily! As I grew, and grew and grew to the overweight status I was in back in December 08, he would always ask me to go with him for hikes, walks, bike rides etc. NEVER did I go - I wasn't interested in "moving" much less anything that resembled exercise - BUT, when I made up mind I became the fanatic that now motivates him - you see, I'm the positive one and I've worked hard and when he saw the results he got on board and is almost as fanatical as I am now
Be very careful - what you say or how you respond to her could be disasterous to your relationship. Just love her and get involved in the food you guys eat and the fun things you do that double as exercise like Nokie and Boopster said.
Good luck!
Lu
P.S. Do you have a wedding date? If not, pick one - it's amazing how getting into a beautiful dress to marry the man you love can motivate you!
Last edited by ldematto on Sat Jun 06, 2009 7:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
you ladies rule! thanks for the advice. If it where up to me i would of went with the tough love but i guess it's not really the way to go. I have suggested we go on a diet and she's slowly coming around to the idea. I told her i would do it with her every step of the way. I think she just gets discouraged because weight has never been a factor for me. I've always been able to eat what i want and show no signs... her not so much anymore. But the advice will for sure go along way.
We have set a date were getting married 10-15-10 in punta cana!!!!
We have set a date were getting married 10-15-10 in punta cana!!!!
Thanks Lu… I’m very fortunate to have him in life.
But... Sorry... I don’t think I’ll be marrying him anytime soon.
He just proposed to me in April on our 4th year anniversary together… (Very romantic how he did it!!!)
And Yes... I gave him a HUG!!! (from his fan)
We both just got braces and he wants to wait until its off… Silly huh? I’ll be 30 by that time!
Also, the main reason is that we're saving up!
Congrats K1ng…. That’s good you guys have a set date… totally a motivation for her!!!
So yeah… No tough love at the moment for her when she is already self conscious. Just be as supportive as you can!
Good Luck!
But... Sorry... I don’t think I’ll be marrying him anytime soon.
He just proposed to me in April on our 4th year anniversary together… (Very romantic how he did it!!!)
And Yes... I gave him a HUG!!! (from his fan)
We both just got braces and he wants to wait until its off… Silly huh? I’ll be 30 by that time!
Also, the main reason is that we're saving up!
Congrats K1ng…. That’s good you guys have a set date… totally a motivation for her!!!
So yeah… No tough love at the moment for her when she is already self conscious. Just be as supportive as you can!
Good Luck!
Hi there
It's nice that you want to encourage her and be supportive of her efforts
Lots of great advice here - I just wanted to add another note.
I'm just getting started in all of this, but recently I realised that something that kept me from being really active is being uncomfortable when I go out for a bike ride/walk/ or attempted to exercise. And I thought for a long time it was just the discomfort of being overweight and selfconcious.
Then I realized that I didn't have clothes that I felt comfortable in. Nothing that fit well and provided for ease of movement. I'm prone to wearing dresses that are too big and hang to the ground. It wasn't easy to move in, because the clothes weren't designed for that and they didn't fit.
So not too long ago, I went out and I bought some new things. Yoga capri's that move well and can easily be worn to the store, if I don't have time to get dressed. Tees that fit well through the bust (i'm losing there first and couldn't be happier. woot) and don't ride up when I lift arms. And comfy, easy to slide on tennies.
The one little change in the way I dress at home for everyday stuff brings about alot more of what I heard someone refer to as 'accidental exercise' here. I move more through out the day- I'm more likely to take the dog for a walk when she wants to go because it's easy to move and I'm already dressed comfortably for it.
So maybe that would be a small step to get things started for your girl
It's nice that you want to encourage her and be supportive of her efforts
Lots of great advice here - I just wanted to add another note.
I'm just getting started in all of this, but recently I realised that something that kept me from being really active is being uncomfortable when I go out for a bike ride/walk/ or attempted to exercise. And I thought for a long time it was just the discomfort of being overweight and selfconcious.
Then I realized that I didn't have clothes that I felt comfortable in. Nothing that fit well and provided for ease of movement. I'm prone to wearing dresses that are too big and hang to the ground. It wasn't easy to move in, because the clothes weren't designed for that and they didn't fit.
So not too long ago, I went out and I bought some new things. Yoga capri's that move well and can easily be worn to the store, if I don't have time to get dressed. Tees that fit well through the bust (i'm losing there first and couldn't be happier. woot) and don't ride up when I lift arms. And comfy, easy to slide on tennies.
The one little change in the way I dress at home for everyday stuff brings about alot more of what I heard someone refer to as 'accidental exercise' here. I move more through out the day- I'm more likely to take the dog for a walk when she wants to go because it's easy to move and I'm already dressed comfortably for it.
So maybe that would be a small step to get things started for your girl
I also agree with Nokie and Boopster......
I am overweight and hubby is a little underweight. He wanted to gain muscle, so he started working out and eating better. Seeing his results in the last few weeks has really made me want to change habits. I now have a really hot hubby and want to be hot for him too. (Besides all the health benefits, this has been motivation!)
I am overweight and hubby is a little underweight. He wanted to gain muscle, so he started working out and eating better. Seeing his results in the last few weeks has really made me want to change habits. I now have a really hot hubby and want to be hot for him too. (Besides all the health benefits, this has been motivation!)
Hi king,
If your fiance complains again about her weight....be honest and say "maybe you do need to lose some weight". She will/may get emotional about it, but she will get over it. We women sometimes need to be told as it is...It's no good saying "You look fine or no you don't need to lose weight". A bit of tough love and then support her to reach her goal and as she starts losing weight tell her she looks hot!!
If your fiance complains again about her weight....be honest and say "maybe you do need to lose some weight". She will/may get emotional about it, but she will get over it. We women sometimes need to be told as it is...It's no good saying "You look fine or no you don't need to lose weight". A bit of tough love and then support her to reach her goal and as she starts losing weight tell her she looks hot!!