I feel terrible... need a friend

cassiegose · Post by **cassiegose** » Mon Apr 13, 2009 6:10 pm

Nokie,

I'm glad I moved on too... best decision i've ever made. As for lifting weights... yes they sure do make you stronger.... and make the guys more likely to treat you well when they know you could kick their ! :)

swanso5 · Post by **swanso5** » Mon Apr 13, 2009 7:16 pm

i can't believe i missed all this ove the weekend without the net

good decision anyway, i didn't like him from last situation

what can we do to help?

clare_1 · Post by **clare_1** » Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:27 am

Thanks everyone for all your kind words. Ive woken up feeling a bit deflated but kind of as if a weight has been lifted too.

I let son sleep in bed and woke up to him cuddling me and telling me he loves me. What more could i want right now?

Lets hope i stay strong and when the guy calls in a few days/weeks (as im sure he will) to say he has decided he can be what i need, i can tell him he needs to move on. Fingers crossed.

Boopster · Post by **Boopster** » Tue Apr 14, 2009 4:25 pm

Clare,

Sorry to hear about all this that has been happening to you. This is a tough call. As friends, we can give you all the advice in the world and think we know how you feel, what you are thinking, and try to bring some resolve. That reality is words can only do so much and actions speak much louder. You are much stronger than you think. Allow me to further explanation by saying that from your postings, we can already see how much you love and care about your son. He already admires you, think how much admiration he will have for you years down the road when he discovers how much respect you had/have for yourself to make the decision to choose a partner that respects you, your feelings, as well as his. It will speak volumes. You are a great mom and terrific member of this forum. Let your actions speak, be strong and show him that you can survive on your own, the rest will come into place. A bit of advice someone once told me was this, "there is nothing more attractive than a woman who can stand on her own 2 feet and take on whatever is thrown her way. dad is a very wise man

Good luck to you and keep us posted

clare_1 · Post by **clare_1** » Wed Apr 15, 2009 2:10 pm

I had a really good day today then fell into loneliness tonight. We have payed for our hol with son and he has given it to me but cant find any1 to come with me.

It made me sad and i cried and then....yes i bloody text him. I said 'why does everything remind me of you'. he said 'thats the way things r with breakups'.

Why did i do it? Feeling crap now cos he will be bragging. I know what i need but nobody is free to go out until next weekend. I need help.

Boopster · Post by **Boopster** » Wed Apr 15, 2009 3:22 pm

Keep your chin up girl and remember you are worthy of being treated as a queen

It may not seem it, but it will get easier as time goes by. Try to resist talking to the ex, though it's hard, you'll be stronger for it

cassiegose · Post by **cassiegose** » Wed Apr 15, 2009 5:03 pm

Clare,

Next time you feel like you need to call or text him... maybe call or text your best friend instead? best friend and I have done this ALOT in the past and it works well because then your friend can talk you out of it... and offer a shoulder to cry on (it works great for drunk dialing and texting also). Sometimes I think we feel the need to text/call them because we're lonely and simply want to hear their voice. Sometimes calling on a friend instead can ease your loneliness while reassuring you that you made the right decision in breaking up with him. Plus, after you get done chatting with your friend you'll feel better... instead of feeling like crap because you just texted the ex. If you don't have a close friend that you can call on... shoot me a personal email and I'll give you number. :)

Keep your chin up girl! It'll get easier!

Cassie :)

clare_1 · Post by **clare_1** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 2:06 am

Cassie that is great advice. The funny thing was as i texted hin last night i also text friend to tell her and was talking to 2 friends on MSN. Ha. How silly, I was hiding feelings from them to be honest so that i seemed to be doing ok when really i should just be honest with them.

I feel a bit better today as ive been reminding myself of all the reasons its over. Also I may have found somebody to take his place on holiday in July and if not ive realised that me and son can have a wonderful time on our own!!!

Ive also got a night out set up for next friday now. Rest assured i will be leaving phone at home and will take out limited money(not much choice there.ha) so as not to get too drunk.

Thanks again all. Im gonna use this thread to vent feelings before i do something stupid next time too.

swanso5 · Post by **swanso5** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:01 pm

me too

clare_1 · Post by **clare_1** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 1:45 am

You guys are so kind. Im actually doing pretty well. I didnt even consider contacting him yesterday and felt fairly positive about the future.

Ive been keeping busy and friends have been keeping me occupied which is great but exhausting.

Anyway think ive found a friend to come on holiday with me and son, i have nights out planned and sons dad (ex hubby) is making out he is gonna help me more.

So not too bad.

Nokie173 · Post by **Nokie173** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:31 am

That's good to know your son's father is helping more...
Even better... that you're doing well.. things will work out...
Just gotta be STRONG emotionally!

Now let's go lift some weights to be strong Physically

Nokie

Boss Man · Post by **Boss Man** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 11:49 am

I'm glad things are working out for you. Your Son IS a very lucky boy, that someone like you, can help to give him some stability and nurturing he needs.

Keep your chin up, GOOD LUCK, and keep looking forward. You'll be a qualified nurse soon, so plenty of positives to look at, and help you move on.

clare_1 · Post by **clare_1** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 1:07 pm

Ive been to a barbeque today and had a few drinks and now i just wanna text him and tell him to come to me!!!! Its so rubbish feeling like this. I dont even want him back. I just want some1 close to me.

Boss Man · Post by **Boss Man** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 2:52 pm

That's what we're here for. As well as we can be. You're just going through stages right no clearly. It's almost certainly natural, to be feeling like you do, becasue you're less than a week into your new circumstances, but time and the things that are good for you, like your Son, exercise, other things like TV, music, etc etc will help you get through this initial adjustment period.

We're all here for you, because you have always shown your true worth to this site and those who use it, and as I've always said, we do look after our own, and you're no different.

Just keep taking each day at a time, surround yourself in the things that you like and matter, keep smiling and best wishes. Certainly as some others have also said, feel free to PM me if you ever need to.

You WILL get through this. You have the heart and mind to train as a Nurse, and you WILL find that Heart and mind, will be two amazing things that get you through this.

You aren't alone.

GOOD LUCK

.

clare_1 · Post by **clare_1** » Sun Apr 19, 2009 1:48 pm

Much better day today. Didnt get to gym but did some digging in the garden and then went to friends and watched footie in garden while the kids played.

Even though i am gonna be on own for a while confidence has been boosted at the offers suddenly coming in. Maybe some fun in a few weeks wont hurt??