As a comfort eater, I use sugary foods to numb the pain of feeling unloved, unwanted and deeply deeply unhappy.
I read recently on a site about how to cut sugar out that rather than seeing it as cutting something out, you should see it as a void that needs to be filled with another activity.
So...what do people do for a natural, guilt free lift? Other than working out of course. (and don't say , I know it's a mood lifter but not always appropriate :p )
Hobbies, etc....
I like going for a stroll in summer but it's harder to see it as a nice activity when it is freezing cold and dark out!
Feeling down.
Moderators: Boss Man, cassiegose
for a good lift id say good old masturbat.... oops sorry should have read the whole post first! 
but seriously though why not try going out more, join a club of some sort,socialise more, learn to play an instrument, throw yourself into your work, read, anything to keep you occupied!
i will be a qualified motor mechanic in a few weeks so thats kept me busy as i need to really get head down and work hard as i will have alot more responsibilities when im qualified and plus ive got alot of portfolio work to do in the next few weeks!
but seriously though why not try going out more, join a club of some sort,socialise more, learn to play an instrument, throw yourself into your work, read, anything to keep you occupied!i will be a qualified motor mechanic in a few weeks so thats kept me busy as i need to really get head down and work hard as i will have alot more responsibilities when im qualified and plus ive got alot of portfolio work to do in the next few weeks!
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Joesportstalk
- ESTABLISHED MEMBER
- Posts: 189
- Joined: Sat Oct 27, 2007 9:41 am
- Location: Las Vegas
Wow, sorry to hear you are blue.
You are a young person, try something new go a different place to eat, or a different place to shop, or workout etc... try a new show or something you never thought you would do before. Bowling, cricket, ride a horse, whatever .....
Live your life and experiment until you find what things make you happy.
Do not let other people get you in a dark place, go find the light of yourself and enjoy being with yourself. Or make a new friend at the new place etc....
Key thing is do not dwell in a place of regret or unhappiness, only YOU can live for YOU.
You are a young person, try something new go a different place to eat, or a different place to shop, or workout etc... try a new show or something you never thought you would do before. Bowling, cricket, ride a horse, whatever .....
Live your life and experiment until you find what things make you happy.
Do not let other people get you in a dark place, go find the light of yourself and enjoy being with yourself. Or make a new friend at the new place etc....
Key thing is do not dwell in a place of regret or unhappiness, only YOU can live for YOU.
All I'm going to say is, you are most certainly not unwanted. At Shapefit, we never intentionally, (though perhaps occasionally appear to), disregard members, except when members work against the meaning and spirit of community, by directly and purposefully flouting rules, or disprespecting peoples basic human rights, to socialise in comfort.
You have been what I would call a very good member. It's not always about what you know or don't know, but just basically doing what you feel is your best, to represent the meaning of "community".
You will always be wanted, respected and liked around here, for basically being you, and for being the sort of person we feel benefits the site as a whole.
I don't doubt for a moment you are someone with a lot of inner qualities, human gifts and a lot to give. and I think you need to look hard at yourself and see the emotional and mental, human potential you have.
This is not about what you as a person can or can't do in life, it's about stripping the human back to basic feelings and emotions, to see yourself the way you deserve to, as a person who is complete, and with the ability to show warmth, connectivity and expression to others.
If you can truly see the person you almost certainly are, then you will be so much better for it. You are part of our community, so you will NEVER be unwanted, and as for being unloved, you are only 20 and still young, and not very overweight at 148lbs.
You CAN take control, and CAN be someone who weighs less, and feels better about yourself. Unless you were the female equivalent of the Elephant Man, I doubt you would have a big issue finding love, because even if you think you're not a Hollywood looks kind of female, you are by no means someone who is unlovable or worthless, and for the small amount of sparkle you lack on the outside, I'm sure there's plenty on the inside, waiting to be discovered that would compensate.
You have to look at it two ways. Would most men want a warm, loving 7 out of 10, or a bitchy, manipulative 9.5 out of 10? By the way I don't usually grade people like that, it was just to highlight a point.
I have seen that other photo of you, and there's nothing badly wrong with you. You only need to drop about 20lbs and that's all. There's NOTHING physically wrong with you, and judging by what you do here, NOTHING wrong with your personality, so you really don't need to be so hard on yourself.
Loads of Sugary food isn't comfort food, it's punishment food, and you aren't bad, so why punish yourself? You're a young Lady with so much to give, do and become. So don't be too hard on yourself. None of us are perfect, and anyone who says they are, often won't be heard by others, if they are sitting down, when they talk through their arsehole.
So keep looking for the positives in yourself. You look like a lot of fun, and I bet you probably are in the right circumstances, and that's the sort of positivity you need to build on, and keep looking for.
Don't be afraid to explore your own personality and behaviour. You'll find the answers almost certainly, and see more of yourself, because you're only young, and you don't know everything about yourself, and what sort of person you are yet, because most of the things and experiences, people over 50 have or have had in their lives, you don't and haven't had, so there's plenty of room for you to grow and blossom emotionally and mentally right now.
Time is a healer, and you WILL find a batter place for you, but just know whatever happens Shapefit will ALWAYS be here for you, and you'll always be a part of us, because you've earned the right, by proving you deserve it.
I personally wouldn't push you to seek help, or radically change your life, from a mental or emotional standpoint, (I wouldn't judge others who might push or urge either), as you must do what feels 100% comfortable and natural for you, but whatever happens in the future, GOOD LUCK and I hope you continue to be a small but worthwhile light in our community, because on here you DO and always will belong and be wanted, and you'll be valued as much as the next person, because we're all equals and that's how it should be.
Take care.
You have been what I would call a very good member. It's not always about what you know or don't know, but just basically doing what you feel is your best, to represent the meaning of "community".
You will always be wanted, respected and liked around here, for basically being you, and for being the sort of person we feel benefits the site as a whole.
I don't doubt for a moment you are someone with a lot of inner qualities, human gifts and a lot to give. and I think you need to look hard at yourself and see the emotional and mental, human potential you have.
This is not about what you as a person can or can't do in life, it's about stripping the human back to basic feelings and emotions, to see yourself the way you deserve to, as a person who is complete, and with the ability to show warmth, connectivity and expression to others.
If you can truly see the person you almost certainly are, then you will be so much better for it. You are part of our community, so you will NEVER be unwanted, and as for being unloved, you are only 20 and still young, and not very overweight at 148lbs.
You CAN take control, and CAN be someone who weighs less, and feels better about yourself. Unless you were the female equivalent of the Elephant Man, I doubt you would have a big issue finding love, because even if you think you're not a Hollywood looks kind of female, you are by no means someone who is unlovable or worthless, and for the small amount of sparkle you lack on the outside, I'm sure there's plenty on the inside, waiting to be discovered that would compensate.
You have to look at it two ways. Would most men want a warm, loving 7 out of 10, or a bitchy, manipulative 9.5 out of 10? By the way I don't usually grade people like that, it was just to highlight a point
.I have seen that other photo of you, and there's nothing badly wrong with you. You only need to drop about 20lbs and that's all. There's NOTHING physically wrong with you, and judging by what you do here, NOTHING wrong with your personality, so you really don't need to be so hard on yourself.
Loads of Sugary food isn't comfort food, it's punishment food, and you aren't bad, so why punish yourself? You're a young Lady with so much to give, do and become. So don't be too hard on yourself. None of us are perfect, and anyone who says they are, often won't be heard by others, if they are sitting down, when they talk through their arsehole.
So keep looking for the positives in yourself. You look like a lot of fun, and I bet you probably are in the right circumstances, and that's the sort of positivity you need to build on, and keep looking for.
Don't be afraid to explore your own personality and behaviour. You'll find the answers almost certainly, and see more of yourself, because you're only young, and you don't know everything about yourself, and what sort of person you are yet, because most of the things and experiences, people over 50 have or have had in their lives, you don't and haven't had, so there's plenty of room for you to grow and blossom emotionally and mentally right now.
Time is a healer, and you WILL find a batter place for you, but just know whatever happens Shapefit will ALWAYS be here for you, and you'll always be a part of us, because you've earned the right, by proving you deserve it.
I personally wouldn't push you to seek help, or radically change your life, from a mental or emotional standpoint, (I wouldn't judge others who might push or urge either), as you must do what feels 100% comfortable and natural for you, but whatever happens in the future, GOOD LUCK and I hope you continue to be a small but worthwhile light in our community, because on here you DO and always will belong and be wanted, and you'll be valued as much as the next person, because we're all equals and that's how it should be.
Take care
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Gillsflower
- STARTING OUT
- Posts: 39
- Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:57 am
Thankyou!
Hi -
thankyou so so so so so much for all your honesty and kindness. Bossman you are so sweet and reading that reply made me very nearly burst into tears.
I haven't been on here for ages. I totally lost the will to do anything about weight and started not to care anymore, about anything really. I got totally behind on Uni work, went out and got absolutely blacked out several nights a week, shoved face with junk food, ended a relationship with the person who is everything to me, that I was meant to be moving across the world to be with, so totally trounched all plans and was left with nothing.
But now I am picking myself up and taking responsibilty for own actions. I am an adult now and can no longer blame insecurities and stupid behaviour on other people anymore. SOOOO....
I have started keeping an online food diary and getting back on track with workouts. I still have dissertation to write so that is priority at the moment but I'm slowly working out what I want to do after graduation and how to achieve it.
I am going to start writing a weekly progress on here - so I am less likely to let myself down AGAIN.
Guys thank you soooo much for your help. It's so nice to find out there are genuine, caring people out there that are utterly unselfish <3
Mwah, mwah mwah!!
Gilly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
thankyou so so so so so much for all your honesty and kindness. Bossman you are so sweet and reading that reply made me very nearly burst into tears.
I haven't been on here for ages. I totally lost the will to do anything about weight and started not to care anymore, about anything really. I got totally behind on Uni work, went out and got absolutely blacked out several nights a week, shoved face with junk food, ended a relationship with the person who is everything to me, that I was meant to be moving across the world to be with, so totally trounched all plans and was left with nothing.
But now I am picking myself up and taking responsibilty for own actions. I am an adult now and can no longer blame insecurities and stupid behaviour on other people anymore. SOOOO....
I have started keeping an online food diary and getting back on track with workouts. I still have dissertation to write so that is priority at the moment but I'm slowly working out what I want to do after graduation and how to achieve it.
I am going to start writing a weekly progress on here - so I am less likely to let myself down AGAIN.
Guys thank you soooo much for your help. It's so nice to find out there are genuine, caring people out there that are utterly unselfish <3
Mwah, mwah mwah!!
Gilly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Awww im sooo glad you are feeling better and taking ahold of your life.
We all have hard times. Ive lost weight and have been going to the gym but im still having a hard week and feel rubbish.
See it happens to us all. Sometimes its in our heads. Ive been calling myself fat yet im 122lbs!!! Crazy.
Find a happy medium hun. You need to get your studies in, have a social life and then fit in some gym time. Whatever you do is better then nothing. Just remember a little of what you fancy does you go. everything in moderation.
We all have hard times. Ive lost weight and have been going to the gym but im still having a hard week and feel rubbish.
See it happens to us all. Sometimes its in our heads. Ive been calling myself fat yet im 122lbs!!! Crazy.
Find a happy medium hun. You need to get your studies in, have a social life and then fit in some gym time. Whatever you do is better then nothing. Just remember a little of what you fancy does you go. everything in moderation.
Personally I'm glad you're back, and of course if there is ever an issue with this board, your ability to use it, or you have one of those days, we will always be here for you, or if you feel you ever need to or would prefer to, regarding emotional or mental issues, please do PM me if needs be.
This site is here for it's members, and that definitely includes the female ones, as I do understand that Ladies can sometimes have more emotional or mental sensitivities, regards certain things, and it's important that to achieve good health, you must find a good balance between the emotional, mental and physical, because the three have a symbiotic relationship.
It is obviously going to be hard, especially knowing what you've been through recently. You should be proud of speaking out about recent troubles, as all females have an inner voice, but some don't realise it, or have the courage to use it, even if they know it's there.
You are obviously an adult now, as you've turned 21 recently so I noticed, happy belated 21st, by the way, but you're still young, and will still make mistakes and that's okay.
You splurged obviously on food, but given your physical history with food, you can't expect yourself to cope, with a well structured food management regime, as easily as some might, as you're not just in a "looking to lose weight" situation, you've had E D's in the past, which will more greatly affect your mindset, approach, and ability to succeed, more than people who haven't.
A few others here have been where you are, and known what an E D feels like to live with, and also to mostly or completely overcome.
It won't be easy, and you will sometimes have days or thoughts that connect to your past, as you recently did, but I can tell you now, if you truly believe in yourself, and realise you DO have the heart and ability, to love and care for yourself, like you should and need to, it WILL get easier with time, patience and by being understanding of yourself, not hard on yourself for slip ups.
Your studies are important, and the fact you are doing what you're doing, shows your intellect will be of great benefit to you, in teaching you how to better overcome your past demons, and also your ability to realise you have done things, you can't continue to do, is a big plus, as admitting publicly you did those things, makes them more concrete, and less easy to shy away from or be in denial about.
Only when people admit things they need to change like you have, can such change begin to be facilitated.
I wish you so much luck with things, and I hope you continue to stop by here and let us know what's happening, as we can continue to help those, who continue to let us know what they are doing, and I hope together you and us, can make your life a little better for you.
Take care.
This site is here for it's members, and that definitely includes the female ones, as I do understand that Ladies can sometimes have more emotional or mental sensitivities, regards certain things, and it's important that to achieve good health, you must find a good balance between the emotional, mental and physical, because the three have a symbiotic relationship.
It is obviously going to be hard, especially knowing what you've been through recently. You should be proud of speaking out about recent troubles, as all females have an inner voice, but some don't realise it, or have the courage to use it, even if they know it's there.
You are obviously an adult now, as you've turned 21 recently so I noticed, happy belated 21st, by the way, but you're still young, and will still make mistakes and that's okay
.You splurged obviously on food, but given your physical history with food, you can't expect yourself to cope, with a well structured food management regime, as easily as some might, as you're not just in a "looking to lose weight" situation, you've had E D's in the past, which will more greatly affect your mindset, approach, and ability to succeed, more than people who haven't.
A few others here have been where you are, and known what an E D feels like to live with, and also to mostly or completely overcome.
It won't be easy, and you will sometimes have days or thoughts that connect to your past, as you recently did, but I can tell you now, if you truly believe in yourself, and realise you DO have the heart and ability, to love and care for yourself, like you should and need to, it WILL get easier with time, patience and by being understanding of yourself, not hard on yourself for slip ups.
Your studies are important, and the fact you are doing what you're doing, shows your intellect will be of great benefit to you, in teaching you how to better overcome your past demons, and also your ability to realise you have done things, you can't continue to do, is a big plus, as admitting publicly you did those things, makes them more concrete, and less easy to shy away from or be in denial about.
Only when people admit things they need to change like you have, can such change begin to be facilitated.
I wish you so much luck with things, and I hope you continue to stop by here and let us know what's happening, as we can continue to help those, who continue to let us know what they are doing, and I hope together you and us, can make your life a little better for you.
Take care
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PandorasVise
- HIGH FLYER
- Posts: 443
- Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:15 am
I recently had own set back. But I know it is temporary. I know that I have eaten bad things in the past and gotton down on myself and said 'what's a bit more cake, ive already screwed myself', but not this time. You have to think about this moment forward. You can't change what you have done. You can choose what you will do. Never dwell.
When I was your age (god that made me feel old typing that) I also had many a problem with heartbreak, food, family and the chore of being adult. It does get easier.
When I was your age (god that made me feel old typing that) I also had many a problem with heartbreak, food, family and the chore of being adult. It does get easier.