Im just wondering why women are so affected by the media when it comes to body image and men arent?
Many women seeing as thin as possible as being sexy etc and envy women who are very slim. Yet men still like a curvy (or should i say healthy) looking woman.
I personally have been affected for years by this and have been very thin, to the point where people were worried. And do you know what i thought??? I felt great. Yes im slim and they are jealous. Where in reality i was underweight, weak and looking after a new born baby.
After much effort I am now a healthy weight (126lbs, 5'4''). But i bet many think i could still do with losing weight. If you ask any man (or medical professional) they are very against me losing weight.
So, rant over, why is this???
Weight and the media.
Moderators: Boss Man, cassiegose
Female vanity issues have existed for years. Men traditionally worked in many cases hard labour. Processing plants, mines, Car Auto factories, and women were seen as delicate homemakers. So a mans image often was that of tough, rough, and dirty workers, which is a far cry from the likes of Pierce Brosnan, telling you you need to use a duel action moisturiser, to help aging skin stay young 
.
Men of old wouldn't have been that arsed about looking young, or having tight skin, if they were going to get dirty, grubby, sooty and oily every day, and come home a bit stinky.
Women were expected to look nice to please their men. Who wants to come home to a wife that looks a bit grubby?
Women were sometimes portrayed in advertising, or TV programme segments, wearing Jeans, a headscarf and vacuuming the floor in a delicate feminine way, or wering floral dresses, and telling you about their favourite detergent, as was supposed to be their role in life.
If they didn't do that, they often worked in secretarial or temp type jobs, often with lower wages than other males of similar office status, so image was everything.
The image of the female in general comes probably from such things, were as there was no look good to impress culture, except on ads for things like Brylcreem in the 60's, where men were supposedly seen taking their lady for a dance.
Years and years ago, dirty warty women might have been accepted in the 1,600's or earlier, but the chauvanistic type 20th century man, often yearned for a nice clean cut woman, to make his dinner, iron his clothes, give him is conjugals of a night when he wanted it, not to argue, or disagree with him, and not to get flightly ideas about things like the economy, or anything political and socio-economic.
Many women were seen as people not able to discuss such things, as politics and big business, didn't have women of such high status, the thought by some men, was probably that women wouldn't understand such stuff, and couldn't cope with the highbrow discussion of executive mans cut and thrust day.
Men of labour wanted similar women, who wouldn't do all that, but probably just let then go off boozing when they wanted, and not to nag them. Such men were probably not really interested in discussing big business matters, not being business men themselves, they might talk about sports of other working class manly stuff over a pint.
So the image of woman has probably grown from such factors in the past. Female repression, lower equal rights, chauvanism etc etc, which in time has obviously to some extent, created a female fear factor about image, and looking good.
Especially if women of say 30 / 40 years ago, were often told by their mothers to dress nice, don't be fat, and don't look like a whore, unless you want to end up married with a no good bum. Many Mothers probably hoped their daughters would marry honest decent city types, or people like Lawyers, Doctors etc etc, who wanted slim clean cut attractive wives, and hope they wouldn't marry, grubby working types, that make low money, and probably spoke in a way not much more advanced than Neanderthals.
That's assuming the daughter came from a middle class background, or a family with high aspirational hopes for their daughters, of marrying quality or class, not settling for make do in life, so to get that mind of man, image was everything, because clearly such a man would never want a woman with a couple of pimples and a wonky tooth.
It's things like predjudice, many mens expectations of women, class, and other things ,that have probably driven this female body and looks image, and now only men are starting to go down that road, with face creams, and scents and other stupid stuff.
Frankly I have no desire to have hair that looks like a wet dog, moisturise, and go around smelling of seaweed, because it's makes me look Parisienne. I'm not a mans man as such, but I'm not a vain person who wastes money to look stupid, and smell funny.
Now some women want men like that, because equality means they can, and men will sometimes oblige, because more women have the belief these days, that they can get a man they want, not just settle for imperfections or flaws, and that he can be everything they need, and settle for nothing less.
body image is more increasingly about vanity these days, or for some, losing weight perhaps, or looking buffer, but women are more fussed about their images, because factors like those I mentioned, have probably in the last 200 years, shaped the expectation of what a good wholesome clean cut woman should be, so many feel obliged to live up to such an image, and the stupid magazines don't help.
They just encourage anorexic attitudes in young girls, and feelings of self loathing, and most of these people in the magazines have expensive treatments, creams, PT's etc etc, to help them, but many never let on how they look like that, or how you can try to look like that, with less money to spend, but in a healthy way.
Maybe in 50 years, men will be more conscious of image, especially with industrial decline, as more men will have to work in business and retail, not do what 3-4 generations of their family did before them, and work 50 hour labourious weeks and get grubby, so more men will have to possibly examine their image too.
Will this problem for women ever bvecome less of a problem? I can't say, but it may still remain that way for a long time ot come, until certain peopel in the media, start addressing such issues more closely, and allowing more disclosure.
Plus some of these so called women in magagzines, are either stupid, talentless, or dull, and don't do very much to earn reverance, just hyped up celebs in some cases hanging on to showbiz, by the tips of their false fingernails.
At least some of the ones, that have a good education and od work for people like Animal sancturies, and Unicef and other such causes can be looked up to same as good actresses and sportswomen, or women who are businesswoman of the year, but then some of them won't appear in tacky mags, becasue they have more credibilty.
After all, people like Glen Close and Merryl Streep, are more likely to appear in Time magazine, than a magazine called someting like Hooters.
.Men of old wouldn't have been that arsed about looking young, or having tight skin, if they were going to get dirty, grubby, sooty and oily every day, and come home a bit stinky.
Women were expected to look nice to please their men. Who wants to come home to a wife that looks a bit grubby?
Women were sometimes portrayed in advertising, or TV programme segments, wearing Jeans, a headscarf and vacuuming the floor in a delicate feminine way, or wering floral dresses, and telling you about their favourite detergent, as was supposed to be their role in life.
If they didn't do that, they often worked in secretarial or temp type jobs, often with lower wages than other males of similar office status, so image was everything.
The image of the female in general comes probably from such things, were as there was no look good to impress culture, except on ads for things like Brylcreem in the 60's, where men were supposedly seen taking their lady for a dance.
Years and years ago, dirty warty women might have been accepted in the 1,600's or earlier, but the chauvanistic type 20th century man, often yearned for a nice clean cut woman, to make his dinner, iron his clothes, give him is conjugals of a night when he wanted it, not to argue, or disagree with him, and not to get flightly ideas about things like the economy, or anything political and socio-economic.
Many women were seen as people not able to discuss such things, as politics and big business, didn't have women of such high status, the thought by some men, was probably that women wouldn't understand such stuff, and couldn't cope with the highbrow discussion of executive mans cut and thrust day.
Men of labour wanted similar women, who wouldn't do all that, but probably just let then go off boozing when they wanted, and not to nag them. Such men were probably not really interested in discussing big business matters, not being business men themselves, they might talk about sports of other working class manly stuff over a pint.
So the image of woman has probably grown from such factors in the past. Female repression, lower equal rights, chauvanism etc etc, which in time has obviously to some extent, created a female fear factor about image, and looking good.
Especially if women of say 30 / 40 years ago, were often told by their mothers to dress nice, don't be fat, and don't look like a whore, unless you want to end up married with a no good bum. Many Mothers probably hoped their daughters would marry honest decent city types, or people like Lawyers, Doctors etc etc, who wanted slim clean cut attractive wives, and hope they wouldn't marry, grubby working types, that make low money, and probably spoke in a way not much more advanced than Neanderthals.
That's assuming the daughter came from a middle class background, or a family with high aspirational hopes for their daughters, of marrying quality or class, not settling for make do in life, so to get that mind of man, image was everything, because clearly such a man would never want a woman with a couple of pimples and a wonky tooth.
It's things like predjudice, many mens expectations of women, class, and other things ,that have probably driven this female body and looks image, and now only men are starting to go down that road, with face creams, and scents and other stupid stuff.
Frankly I have no desire to have hair that looks like a wet dog, moisturise, and go around smelling of seaweed, because it's makes me look Parisienne. I'm not a mans man as such, but I'm not a vain person who wastes money to look stupid, and smell funny.
Now some women want men like that, because equality means they can, and men will sometimes oblige, because more women have the belief these days, that they can get a man they want, not just settle for imperfections or flaws, and that he can be everything they need, and settle for nothing less.
body image is more increasingly about vanity these days, or for some, losing weight perhaps, or looking buffer, but women are more fussed about their images, because factors like those I mentioned, have probably in the last 200 years, shaped the expectation of what a good wholesome clean cut woman should be, so many feel obliged to live up to such an image, and the stupid magazines don't help.
They just encourage anorexic attitudes in young girls, and feelings of self loathing, and most of these people in the magazines have expensive treatments, creams, PT's etc etc, to help them, but many never let on how they look like that, or how you can try to look like that, with less money to spend, but in a healthy way.
Maybe in 50 years, men will be more conscious of image, especially with industrial decline, as more men will have to work in business and retail, not do what 3-4 generations of their family did before them, and work 50 hour labourious weeks and get grubby, so more men will have to possibly examine their image too.
Will this problem for women ever bvecome less of a problem? I can't say, but it may still remain that way for a long time ot come, until certain peopel in the media, start addressing such issues more closely, and allowing more disclosure.
Plus some of these so called women in magagzines, are either stupid, talentless, or dull, and don't do very much to earn reverance, just hyped up celebs in some cases hanging on to showbiz, by the tips of their false fingernails.
At least some of the ones, that have a good education and od work for people like Animal sancturies, and Unicef and other such causes can be looked up to same as good actresses and sportswomen, or women who are businesswoman of the year, but then some of them won't appear in tacky mags, becasue they have more credibilty.
After all, people like Glen Close and Merryl Streep, are more likely to appear in Time magazine, than a magazine called someting like Hooters.
Skinny women in the media make me look at myself like I’m so fat! What makes it even worst when you’re family tells you that you are a fat pig for not looking like them. Example, mom always tells me how fat I am and that I should be at least 110 pounds because that’s the trend. Like amatlack, the guys I hang out with wants girls to be stick thin or have big assets like those play boys chicks.
So, it’s a bit hard to deal with those things when media image affects you and people around you….
So, it’s a bit hard to deal with those things when media image affects you and people around you….
Your mum says those things to you? Im so sorry about that, its awful.
I actually think men act differently to that. Most of the men I know dont want a skinny girl but a womanly figure. No, they dont want an overweight girlfriend but one who has more then skin and bones. Im slim but i certainky have curves and ive never had any trouble with men.
Its women who aspire to be like those in magazines etc, not men wanting them to look like that in opinion.
I actually think men act differently to that. Most of the men I know dont want a skinny girl but a womanly figure. No, they dont want an overweight girlfriend but one who has more then skin and bones. Im slim but i certainky have curves and ive never had any trouble with men.
Its women who aspire to be like those in magazines etc, not men wanting them to look like that in opinion.
No need to be sorry Clare… That was years ago when I was a teenager, I took it hard. Now of course as an adult, I know better… I was just trying to say… that media image affects everybody and the pressure to look and be a certain way is all around you….
I just brush it off nowadays and just try to educate myself for the better.
About the guys, I really guess it depends on their preference.
I just brush it off nowadays and just try to educate myself for the better.
About the guys, I really guess it depends on their preference.
Good comments about the Lesothoan way of life Amatlack, and in the example you're referring to, it's probably so true, because yes in some countires or parts of the world, how a female should look will be judged according to lifestyle, surroundings, etc etc.
I think the female image thing that people use or talk about, is mainly a westernised tradition. As you clearly eluded to an almost flipside that originates from the Africas.
Admittedly what you said, is'n something I hadn't considered in viewpoint, so I enjoyed reading that.
I think the female image thing that people use or talk about, is mainly a westernised tradition. As you clearly eluded to an almost flipside that originates from the Africas.
Admittedly what you said, is'n something I hadn't considered in viewpoint, so I enjoyed reading that.
Thanks Amatlack. I thought it was needed as looking through the threads shows so many tiny young women asking how to lose weight, rather then get fit, tone etc
What you said about parents is also true. father (i use the term loosley) has been married 6 times and i have heard him call all his wives fat etc..
As a man who has 6 daughters (and 5 sons) it isnt suprising that we all spend so much of our time trying to stay slim. Anyone would think that his approval matters.
And mother I remember growing up and 1 minute she was tiny, then curvy, then slightly overweight, then skinny again. She died when i was 17 and main memory of her is her diets and us tryong to convince her she was beautiful. I am convinced that her yo yo dieting had some contribution to her early death (breast cancer). Im suprised how upset i have got writing this. Phew.
Anyway although i spent many years trying to be what i believe mother wanted herself to be, I then had own child and realised I didnt want to be thin anymore, i wanted to be healthy and see him grow up.
When i think of son losing me at 17, the way i lost own mother, it spurs me on to be the healthiest i can. And sons favourite food - any raw vegetable, fruit, cheese. Ask him if he wants a burger and he will say he would rather have a sandwich.
maybe im doing something right.
What you said about parents is also true. father (i use the term loosley) has been married 6 times and i have heard him call all his wives fat etc..
As a man who has 6 daughters (and 5 sons) it isnt suprising that we all spend so much of our time trying to stay slim. Anyone would think that his approval matters.
And mother I remember growing up and 1 minute she was tiny, then curvy, then slightly overweight, then skinny again. She died when i was 17 and main memory of her is her diets and us tryong to convince her she was beautiful. I am convinced that her yo yo dieting had some contribution to her early death (breast cancer). Im suprised how upset i have got writing this. Phew.
Anyway although i spent many years trying to be what i believe mother wanted herself to be, I then had own child and realised I didnt want to be thin anymore, i wanted to be healthy and see him grow up.
When i think of son losing me at 17, the way i lost own mother, it spurs me on to be the healthiest i can. And sons favourite food - any raw vegetable, fruit, cheese. Ask him if he wants a burger and he will say he would rather have a sandwich.
maybe im doing something right.
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mzaruba423
- ESTABLISHED MEMBER
- Posts: 152
- Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2008 6:32 pm
chicks get a bad wrap media for sure and it's been going on for ages but the tise is slowly turning and males are being looked at the same way too, coinciding with all time high bullimia sufferes and those with eating disorders looking for that elusive 6 pack
married 6 times???? goodness
he's either a machine or a moron...
and nokie you're mum's shit
married 6 times???? goodness
he's either a machine or a moron...
and nokie you're mum's shit
Swanso, to his kids hes a moron. Hid excuse - hes Italian so its in his blood. As i said, hes a moron.
You are right when you say that men are starting to worry more about losing weight, etc. Can I just say that there is no bigger turn off then a scrawny guy. I personally want a guy who can literally sweep me off feet and carry me off...well wherever.
guys 6'3'' and 220lbs. Big, braod and strong. Just the way I like em. Saying that does this mean i am contributing to the pressure on guys? Well id rather have pressure to eat lots and have muscles then eat as little as possible and have a scrawny frame.
You are right when you say that men are starting to worry more about losing weight, etc. Can I just say that there is no bigger turn off then a scrawny guy. I personally want a guy who can literally sweep me off feet and carry me off...well wherever.
guys 6'3'' and 220lbs. Big, braod and strong. Just the way I like em. Saying that does this mean i am contributing to the pressure on guys? Well id rather have pressure to eat lots and have muscles then eat as little as possible and have a scrawny frame.
Clare, Thanks for sharing… and good job being... such a good healthy role model for your son.
About mom, I guess at the time, she thought it would be a good idea for her to say negative things about me and compare me to her friend’s daughters so it would motivate me to look that way too. Sadly to say, it took the opposite affect. Of course, I didn’t know how to do it the healthy way, beside what’s being showed on the media with diet pills, throwing up food and starving myself and I had friends who were doing those things too….(Note: I was about 12-13 years old at the time) It’s been such a yo-yo diet for me.. gain then lose, then gain then lose….
Now come to think about it… goodness what was I thinking!
About guys and media… I think they also have pressure to be buff & muscular. Some even look in to steroids to help them achieve that goal. The people I used to be around with have a mentality of men needs to be buff with their skinny girls. So… pressure both ways.
Anyways… this is such a good topic to read and share thoughts about!
About mom, I guess at the time, she thought it would be a good idea for her to say negative things about me and compare me to her friend’s daughters so it would motivate me to look that way too. Sadly to say, it took the opposite affect. Of course, I didn’t know how to do it the healthy way, beside what’s being showed on the media with diet pills, throwing up food and starving myself and I had friends who were doing those things too….(Note: I was about 12-13 years old at the time) It’s been such a yo-yo diet for me.. gain then lose, then gain then lose….
Now come to think about it… goodness what was I thinking!
About guys and media… I think they also have pressure to be buff & muscular. Some even look in to steroids to help them achieve that goal. The people I used to be around with have a mentality of men needs to be buff with their skinny girls. So… pressure both ways.
Anyways… this is such a good topic to read and share thoughts about!
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Gillsflower
- STARTING OUT
- Posts: 39
- Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:57 am
Woah, Clare that is such a sad story. I am actually crying a tiny bit 
but well done taking the positive from such a bad situation and doing the best for you and your son and if he looks anything like you he must be gorgeous,healthy and glowing I know for a fact is related to never hearing dad tell mother she is attractive or has a nice figure. Certainly he has never called me beautiful and in head, the day I get to a size 6 he will suddenly love me and tell me I am wonderful. I know it's not true but the voice in head says it is...
Definitely agree with the conversation about thinness being a wealth symbol. I think that celebs and millionaires choose emaciated wives as an accessory that can only be maintained with the right amount of cash - as an aside apparently Jennifer Anniston spends $2000 per ONE YOGA SESSION!! Argh, all the things you could do with 2 grand....
I get so depressed when I watch shows with girls with EDs and rather than being disgusted I think they look good and hate myself for not having their self control. It makes me so angry at myself but I can't help it.
As for men preferring curves, DEFINITELY true! But do you think it's fair for them to say you are too thin if you are happier with your body? Isn't that just as bad as calling you fat?
but well done taking the positive from such a bad situation and doing the best for you and your son and if he looks anything like you he must be gorgeous,healthy and glowing I know for a fact is related to never hearing dad tell mother she is attractive or has a nice figure. Certainly he has never called me beautiful and in head, the day I get to a size 6 he will suddenly love me and tell me I am wonderful. I know it's not true but the voice in head says it is...Definitely agree with the conversation about thinness being a wealth symbol. I think that celebs and millionaires choose emaciated wives as an accessory that can only be maintained with the right amount of cash - as an aside apparently Jennifer Anniston spends $2000 per ONE YOGA SESSION!! Argh, all the things you could do with 2 grand....
I get so depressed when I watch shows with girls with EDs and rather than being disgusted I think they look good and hate myself for not having their self control. It makes me so angry at myself but I can't help it.
As for men preferring curves, DEFINITELY true! But do you think it's fair for them to say you are too thin if you are happier with your body? Isn't that just as bad as calling you fat?
Thanks hunni. Im a strong person so i deal with it but yeh its been tough. Anyway son is the most beautiful being ever to grace this earth, with a personality to match so i think hes good karma or something.
If your parents have not been the greatest in any way i think it just makes our kids lives better as we learn from their mistakes.
If your parents have not been the greatest in any way i think it just makes our kids lives better as we learn from their mistakes.
Sometimes you don't learn from your parents, because sometimes if you discuss personal matters, they try to tell you how some things used to be 40 years ago, and you know it's totally different now, so they're out of the social loop, but thanks anyway 
.
$2000 on Yoga sessions? Vulgar person. Frankly I never liked anything she did anyways, especially when I watched trailers for friends, or clips on award show programmes, (never watched a full episode, for fear of being sick), they all just make 21-40 year olds, look like paranoid, neurotic people, that sleep with each other, and pretend to themselves they're the greatest ever, when they have crap lives and boring .
I've never known many people like that.
Anyways, back onto the subject. As long as the industries that regulate modelling and the media, fail to be stricter, or disclose more of the methods used to be like that, young teens will try to want it, but do it so, so badly, and some will continue to die.
.$2000 on Yoga sessions? Vulgar person. Frankly I never liked anything she did anyways, especially when I watched trailers for friends, or clips on award show programmes, (never watched a full episode, for fear of being sick), they all just make 21-40 year olds, look like paranoid, neurotic people, that sleep with each other, and pretend to themselves they're the greatest ever, when they have crap lives and boring .
I've never known many people like that.
Anyways, back onto the subject. As long as the industries that regulate modelling and the media, fail to be stricter, or disclose more of the methods used to be like that, young teens will try to want it, but do it so, so badly, and some will continue to die.