Ok, so, I need some help...

[reallyalex15]

(I am not sure if this is the right place to put this.)
Alright, where do I start?
Well, name is Alex. I'm a 19 year old female and I've been overweight almost entire life. As it stands, I weigh about 200 lbs. This is the largest I have ever been. I'm pretty short (about 5'3"). Much of weight is centered in hips and thighs, but there is also plenty in middle. I have been eating less (and eating healthier foods) than I have since I can remember. I have been doing this for about three weeks. For these three weeks I have exercised maybe three to four times a week for 20-30 minutes each. It is all cardio as I exercise in home (I own a dual-action bike--the stationary kind where you can move your arms as well).
I started at about 215lbs at the start of weight loss and I feel as if I am making decent progress, but I am running into some problems. First of all, calorie intake every day is very, very low. Some days I won't eat at all because I am busy, don't feel like cooking or just don't want to eat. I am very aware you are not supposed to do that but I get scared of ruining progress, or eating the wrong thing. food cravings are insane and I have broke down in tears several times. I know this is making me stressed and depressed. I have had trouble with eating disorders in the past due to low self-confidence and I am scared to return to that. It is in the past, but at the rate I am going I am frightened that it will become present.
I honestly have no idea what I am doing. I have looked online, read books, articles, asked people I know: what is the best, safest way to lose weight? Every answer I have received has contradicted each other. I don't know what I should eat, what workout regimen should consist of, and how to go about making any of it a reality.
So, what I'm asking for is this: I would like to lose about 60lbs. I would prefer to do this by building muscle and becoming lean. I'm not sure if I should worry about losing fat first or just start building muscle right away. I don't really know what foods I am supposed to eat (as I said, many contradicting accounts), or what workouts I should do and for how long. It should also be noted that I am a vegetarian and don't eat meat.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you even more if you take the time to answer. I don't really know what else to do.

[Fitafter50]

Hi, Alex,

First of all, take a deep breath, sweetie--stressing about your weight just makes it all worse.

I find it much more helpful to focus on increasing health rather than losing weight; it helps sidestep all the eating disorder tendencies as there are a lot of ways people can lose weight that do not result in healthier bodies.

The reason there is so much contradictory advice out there is because different things work for different people, and also because some things work for a while so they seem like "the answer" at least for a short time. Your best bet is to find out what works best for you, what fits in with your lifestyle and preferences. For example, there are a lot of people who swear by Paleo eating plans--avoiding grains and legumes and concentrating on vegetables and humanely-sourced meats. There are just as many who swear by a plant-based diet. Because you choose not to eat meat, the second approach is a good place for you to start. In either case, the important things are to cut way back on processed foods that aren't nutrient dense and to increase your vegetable intake.

What do you currently eat on a typical day? Some possible breakfasts would be a green smoothie with a scoop of protein powder, or a bowl of chia pudding with fruit and nuts, or a veggie omelet (if you eat eggs). Vegetable soups or quinoa salads are easy make-ahead choices for lunch. Starting dinner with a big green salad is another way to get your veggies in.

Cardio is good for burning calories, but weight training is even better. You don't need much equipment to start; there are a lot of bodyweight exercises you can do in your living room, and Boss Man has posted a good beginner weight workout in several threads on this site that you can do with just a few dumbbells.

Beyond eating and exercise, getting enough sleep and managing stress are also big components of improving your health, and successful weight loss; lack of sleep and emotional stress impact your hormones in ways that encourage your body to store fat.

You are smart to start dealing with this now--I wish I had started at your age instead of waiting till I was 39 to start taking consistent action! You can do this. Maybe baby steps will work better than trying to change your life all at once. Either way, by next year you can achieve great things if you stay calm and keep moving forward.

[Boss Man]

Hi Alex, good to talk to you.

Firstly FA50, has some useful things to think about there, so take note of those points.

I want to say I'M PROUD OF YOU for talking about you 's. It must have been hard to live through those and to talk about them and this is not about sounding preachy regards what was right or wrong about that, it's about you moving forwards to a better place, physically, mentally and emotionally in life.

I feel like I want to send you a BIG HUG and let you know that you should be proud of wanting to change your circumstances and making life better for yourself. You seem like someone with a good heart and young Lady with a lot to offer the world and I hope we as a community, can help you find more of the person I think you will deserve to be and be proud of the 15lbs you've already lost, because that's a great start okay .

I should say that it's understandable that you're concerned about eating too much again and what that might entail, but one thing that really does kybosh peoples weight loss attempts, is eating healthy food in small quantities. For example eating 1,200 calories or less per day.

This can have the potential to cause something called a starvation mode, where the body holds on to fat.

Also it can have a negative effect on overall health, by depriving the person of vital micronutrients, that help maintain a healthy skeleton, immune system, etc.

Adult females need 1,800 calories when sedentary and more can be had on exercise days.

In your case, muscle building will have a beneficial effect on fat loss, as 1lb of extra muscle burns an extra 45-50 calories per day., but the resultant muscle gain could initially be equivalent to the resultant fat loss, so you might initially in the first 4-6 months, feel as if your weight is not doing much, but it will be, because if waist size in particular gets narrower, then the individual is almost certainly getting a better muscle to fat ratio in such circumstances.

So don't be afraid to eat a bit more, as you're eating not enough. It's about initially what you eat, as much as how you eat it.

I would also like to say that when you're weighing, make sure you do it once a week, first thing in the morning on an empty stomach and after a toilet trip, to create a consistent system.

Don't obsess about the scale, as some people can become addicted to it and worry every time they get a bit of fluctuation. Your weight fluctuates daily anyway in accordance with food and waste matter weight in the body, excluding the weight of clothing, so you might be 0.5lbs up one day and 24 hours later 1lb below that and actually lose 0.5lbs in 48 hours, as an example, but obsessing about daily measuring can lead people to knee jerk about small increases and potentially the wrong things straight away, like cut calories, or increase cardio etc and time is of the essence.

Patience must be observed when aiming for long-term physical change, because at the very least you need 2 weeks, just to get the first 2-6lbs on the board, as I'm sure you can appreciate.

I'm not saying you obsess about the scales, but as you didn't say I thought it best to bring it up, or just to make you aware of it in case you started feeling the notion to do it .

I would like to ascertain a couple of things first and foremost to help you get motoring further.

As FA50 asked, what times do you eat at and what foods do you eat at those times. This may become a sketchy thing if your meal times vary and are sporadic from day to day, but just try, if you can, to be fairly accurate about it, but don't worry about it too much, you're not here to be interrogated, just asked things that might be useful to us in order to help you .

As for how you wish to train, have you get access to a gym, or do you intend to train at home? A gym would permit a more productive way to muscle build, but if it's a case of time constraints, no easy access to a gym, or financial concerns, training at home can come with suggestions, but I'm hoping you can access a gym, as that will promote greater ability to build muscle.

I want to reassure you that we will do whatever we feel we can to help you, so try not to worry and please do let us know what we asked about, to help us a bit more and please let us know how you get on in the future okay .

We always want to hear how people progress; not for our benefit, but for theirs, so we can give them positive feedback or additional help and support, we think they deserve and merit.

GOOD LUCK and as I said earlier, be proud of what you have achieved so far, keep believing in yourself and try not to worry too much okay .

You seem like a lovely young Lady and we are here to try and help as best as we feel we can, to support you in an important new direction in life.

[reallyalex15]

First of all, thank you so much to both of you for your long and thoughtful replies. I really appreciated your insight and thoughts on this matter. Thank both of you for your encouraging words, as they have made me feel as if I can breathe a little easier.

To address diet, it has lately consisted mostly of grains (mainly whole-gain rice, I've never really eaten bread anyway) with some greens. I eat a lot of spinach because it is favorite leafy vegetable-- I can never get enough of it. Zucchini and cucumber are staples in fridge as well. I also eat a lot of eggs. Most of the time I only cook the egg white but occasionally I will eat the yolk as well. Usually they are boiled, but sometimes I will mix it up and make an omelette or something similar, throwing in some vegetables to give a little variety. When I do use milk, I stick to skim, but again, I never really drink milk, just use it to cook. I also cook with a lot of soy, to substitute for the absence of meat in diet.

I eat something in the morning if I have time. I usually eat some variation of eggs. I also drink a mug of coffee with a tablespoon of skim milk. I have never really eaten lunch, even before I started trying to lose weight, but I work out at around 1:00 usually and I like to eat something before I do that. usual pre-workout meal varies; sometimes I will eat a small bowl of rice with some steamed vegetables-- spinach, snap peas, or bell peppers. Sometimes it will just be a banana with nuts (I prefer almonds). It depends on mood that day. evening meal is usually something a bit more extravagant. Often it involves whole-grain rice and veggies. Sometimes I will cook soy as well and throw it together into a bowl. Sometimes I will just eat a salad, with romaine lettuce or spinach, tomato, bell peppers, and an assortment of other veggies to keep it interesting. Since budget isn't very large there isn't too much variation in meals but I try to keep it from getting repetitive.

As for the gym, sister is a member at a gym close to me. She is allowed to bring a guest with her and often asks if I would like to join her when she goes, but I always decline. I am not very comfortable leaving house for too long if I don't have to. self-confidence is very low and I get anxious when I am out for too long. I am trying to stop thinking like that, because I know exercise will be a lot easier with all of the equipment available to me at the gym, and I think I might take her up on it soon. All I have to do is not psych myself out. It is easier said than done, but I am trying. If I get comfortable enough to where I can go on own, I will almost certainly pay for own membership. I was thinking in investing in some weights anyway in case I can't make it to the gym some days.

Thank you both again for your support and responses. I hope I provided enough information here. If not I will obviously answer any more questions you have. Thanks for your help.

[Boss Man]

This is a system that I post for quite a few people, so it might work for you, but it can be tweaked if needs be.

Breakfast

Option 1.

Bowl of Whole-grain Cereal and scrambled Eggs, (2 Egg Whites + Yolk)

Option 2.

Protein shake, small portion of Nuts, (excluding higher carb ones like Cashews, Chestnuts and Grapenuts).


Snack

Option 1.

Portion of Turkey + Orange

Option 2.

Small Portion of Peanuts, some Chicken


Lunch

Option 1.

Large Beef Sandwich with trimmings, I.E. Tomato, Lettuce, Cucumber etc.

Option 2.

Bowl of Chicken Soup, + Pot of yoghurt.


Snack

Option 1.

Turkey + Cashews

Option 2.

Ham + 2 large Tomatos


Dinner

Option 1.

Pork with mashed Potato.

Option 2.

Chicken and Rice

Option 3.

100g Halibut + Broccoli


Snack

Option 1.

Beans on Toast

Option 2.

Ham Sandwich, no trimmings.

Easy on the bread with both options.

You could add a few things to certain meals, like Sea Salt, Cracked Black Pepper, Parsley, Mustard, Herbs, Garlic.

As for going to the Gym, yes, definitely do that and try not to worry too much. I can appreciate it might seem like a daunting thing, but honestly 99% of people in those places just get on with their own thing, or try to socialise with some people and are not there to be grievous towards other people.

The sooner you get in there and train and be able to start getting some quality muscle building on the go, as that is something you expressed a preference for, the better.

Don't worry about okay, because you ARE worth it and you DO deserve to be giving this time and effort to yourself, so try not to worry about making that step and just go there and look at the positives, which are you will be stepping up your efforts to do what you want to and if you make sure it's done properly you'll have a pretty risk free and productive way of improving your chances of reaching the goal.

You CAN do this, so don't wait and lose your nerve. Do it as soon as possible and I am convinced you won't regret it .

[Fitafter50]

Because it looks like you eat a basically healthful diet, Alex, with lots of veggies and limited processed foods, I'm wondering if you have some food intolerances that are making it hard for you to lose weight. The foods most likely to cause problems are sugar and artificial sweeteners, corn, soy, eggs, dairy, gluten and peanuts. You could try cutting them out for a few weeks, one by one, or even better, do an elimination diet where you cut out all of them for 3 or 4 weeks, and then test them, one at a time. It sounds tough, I know, but it's not that bad. When I did it, I used a vegan protein powder to make a smoothie for breakfast, had soup and salads for lunch, and then ate fish with veggies or salad for dinner. I don't know if you eat fish, but if not, you could sub in stir-fried veggies with some nuts and rice. I learned that I don't tolerate dairy, even beloved whey protein, when I did the elimination diet, and gluten isn't a good friend of mine either. I thought I would miss milk and cream more than I do, but I just sub in hemp or nut milk, or use favorite, full-fat canned coconut milk, which is heavenly in coffee. It's something to think about anyway.

I second what Boss Man said--go ahead and get started! You can do this, and you will never regret it!

[Boss Man]

I like the idea of that elimination diet, but perhaps eliminate one thing at a time and if that doesn't work, add it back in and then eliminate another thing.

If you don't eat all those things for 3-4 weeks as suggested then you get no issues as before, you'll spend an extra 3-4 weeks not knowing what causes the issue(s) and then still need a period of experimentation with one food stuff at a time anyway.

That's not to poo-poo your suggestion FA50, because It's a very sound idea and if you feel that Alex may be intolerant to something, then it's not a bad way to go .

Incidentally Alex, some people may be able to overcome an intolerance by taking a digestive enzyme supplement, as often intolerance's come from the inability to break down a nutrient into a more usable state, so the body reacts to the nutrient in its unprocessed state, because there's a conflict of interest between it being something that must be immediately expelled I:E: an accidental swallowing of a chemical and it being usable organic matter, but a digestive enzyme supplement may alleviate the issue, so perhaps consider that before an elimination diet, but don't combine the two, as that will make no sense.