I might write quite a bit here, but I wanted to give you a totally honest response to what you just said, so hopefully I won't bore you
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I completely understand where you're coming from, obviously from a human perspective, not a female perspective, as I'm , but it makes perfect sense for you to feel like you do and to think your femininity is somehow affected, by an aspect of your body image, that is heavily promoted in the media, but real beauty comes from within and your words and emotion you have expressed show me you're a beautiful person and you should celebrate that and be able to look yourself in the mirror and feel beautiful and vibrant and energised by the person looking back at you.
You've got a right to feel feminine, but being strong and feminine can be a very positive and emotive image and you don't need to be so conscious of yourself, but I really do understand why you might feel like this, as the media doesn't help, especially when some people are photo shopped to have a look that sometimes nature simply cannot give and in that respect it is a bit wrong, but a females DNA can dictate how their upper body looks and sometimes, some people are out of favour.
You're someone that has endeared themselves to me purely for how you come across with your words and the emotion. I have no idea how you look apart from what you say about yourself and yet I am sure I would find many positives in how you look if I saw any pictures of you, but you have said so much about yourself anyway in how you express yourself and word your content
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I would be so happy for you if you came on here at some point and said something like, I am a 120lb female with 14%-18% fat. I look lean, strong, healthy and beautiful and yes I never could find that extra inch or two on the bosom that I hoped for, but I am proud of myself for the wonderful physical future I have crated for myself and I think I will still look awesome even when I'm 75.
You're young, you're bombarded by the media and other peoples image and it's understandable you could be influenced by that and want to emulate what other females have, that define their femininity in a way you would like yours to be defined, but if you became through your own hard work and effort, a young Lady with strong, aqualine statuesque curves and an artistic looking body, you'd be feminine from head to toe I think almost certainly without question and the main thing here is not to be letting the imagery around you, make you feel like you're taking sucker punches to your confidence, because you needn't do that.
You're who you are on the inside, because you know it's right and I know it's right. You're probably, I imagine, a world away from being plain looking regardless of your bosoms proportions and unless you let other people or things in the world steal a lot of who you are on the inside, then you will always have that beautiful person to grow, blossom and mature in your head and heart and you will always be a beautiful person with a lot to be proud of, for being fit, strong and emotionally gifted and I really do want you to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and recognise all the wonderful things about yourself, I think you have, because that's not being vain or egotistical, it's being self affirming as long as you don't develop and ego and a smug sense of self by doing it, which I don't think you would.
A lot of females with flat chests can still be feminine even if they wear stuff like a sweatshirt, jeans and nikes, as opposed to a sleeveless top, knee length skirt and some wedge shoes for example and it doesn't matter if they have ponytails, or spiky, funky hair, because femininity in a female is not solely defined by the way a bosom looks, as that's one minor aspect that is inflated by the media and the small proportion of guys who view females with a very shallow outlook and if a good bosom is in their top 2 critieria for a good female, then they don't deserve people like you with a beautiful heart and an intelligent mind, because they should be ranking things like your heart, mind, humour and conversation and other aspects of your external beauty, way above how proportioned your bosom is.
You insecurities are understandable and human, but you have the power to control them, by demoting the relevance of a fuller bosom behind the other aspects of your beauty and the person you are on the inside, because then when you look at your intellect, overall beauty and personality, I'm sure you'd see just what a positive, confident and amazing person I think you have the power to be and I think you can focus on building up your strength and body image and health and still be able to feel better about yourself in swimsuits and feel great abotu yourself.
I mean who would you rather be, a strong, lean, flat chested person, or someone with a fuller bosom, but another 100lbs in weight and not very healthy, because for many that is a reality and it's not a good tradeoff, to be that overweight and have a fuller chest and in some cases the chest becomes so full in relation to their weight, it causes soreness, possible rashes and pain problems especially in the back.
You're young and vulnerable to the media and some peoples interpretation of a good looking female, but I guarantee you, you're showing me through your words where your real beauty lies and you say you have an athletic body, so then be proud of yourself and keep working it hard, for the improvement and health you are worth and you wear a swimsuit if you want to and know that you will shine brightly enough to compete with the sun every single time.
You go girl! What you are doing in these early years of your life will help you so much down the road and is so important in establishing a mindset to stay fit and healthy. 