Over the last 6 months I have been , losing some weight, getting in shape and feeling pretty good. I have had some friends ask what I have been doing and what they might do to get started for themselves. That has been very cool and I love getting to help out and encourage others. I am very new to this whole fit and healthy life style thing, so I can only speak about what has worked for me. I don’t have any answers for most of the limitations others face.
So here is what I want to understand. I have talked with 5 or 6 women who are unhappy with the way they look and have become so discouraged about weight loss they have given up hope. At some point in each conversation they said “After having a few kids and being over 40… this is as good as it gets”
I have not known what to say. They have all heard the “Just get out there and do it!!” type pep talks. They have tried programs and Diets. All promoted by a 25 year old fitness model (who has never had a pimple much less a child) “and in just 4 weeks you can look like me.” Sorry, but I’m finding their hopelessness makes me kinda mad about what they have been sold…. O.K, I’m done ranting… for now.
So, here is question. What are the physical challenges and limitations on a Mom in her 40’s? What are some realistic goals for getting into better Physical shape and feeling better? Or, are the challenges and limitation mostly mental and emotional? If so, what are some ideas and or resources to encourage them and give them hope? Thanks,
? from a guy
Moderators: Boss Man, cassiegose
Re: ? from a guy
I can't speak for the over 40's woman who has had children, as that would be absurd, but I could say the following things.
The first thing could be to reassure someone that there are people who have been overweight by 100lbs or more that lost it and therefore losing some pregnancy weight is very real and possible
It doesn't mean the individuals body will respond in quite the same way to an overweight persons body, as the pregnancy or pregancies, may have possibly affected certain types of hormones and the way in which the body responds to changes in diet and activity levels.
The thing to also do is to help someone who thinks this is as good as it gets, to believe that they are worth it and that "as good as it gets", is some kind of emotional conclusion, not a physical reality, bearing in mind a woman with a 120lb muscular body and 14% fat, wouldn't say this is "as good as it gets", because that's a comment made by someone who may look like they're trying to come to terms, with a supposed scenario of "not great but could be worse".
There is almost always a solution to this problem of pregancy weight, without the need for dumb pills or expensive guff like Isagenix, unless the person is getting a counterproductive effect from something like an ongoing medication of some kind, or some kind of metabolic problem stemming from thyroid malfunction, or any other possible medical scenario(s).
Many people will claim when losing weight, to have tried everything and nothing works. This boils down to potentially one of two things.
1. Emotional disconnect to potentially workable things, possibly because of quick onset of boredom with that thing, or over expectant feelings leading to dissapointment, when change is not achieved in a way that is highly unfeasible, I.E. expecting to lose 10lbs of weight in the first 2 weeks and losing 4-6.
2. Not having tried everything, just everything they know of. So many permutations of eating and exercising exist, that if you can find the right combination of both and connect emotionally to them for a prolonged period of time, then consistant lasting results can be yielded, unless the issues described above about the thyroid etc, come into play.
People losing any kind of weight, including pregancy weight, need to realise that there's no need to seemingly settle for second best, or think it's too late. There's never a too late where weight loss is concerned and if someone considers themselves worth it enough, then perseverence can lead to eventual success, in a way that discontinuing any attempts can never do.
Older Mothers looking to lose weight, need to be reminded that their children need good quality rolemodels and may grow up with the urge to be active, as opposed to being active only when schools supposedly force them. Therefore fitness and a healthy appearance can play a good role, in projecting the right image to children and give them something to aspire to.
The individuals should also be made aware of the bigger picture, all too seldom remembered, which is all the things that cannot be seen.
Why does the person want to lose weight, to look better, or to reduce the risk of diabetes, heart attacks, strokes, onset of bad joints etc, because when you prioritse the important internal benefits, you can make the cosmetic changes an added bonus, not the primary focus, because your body works just like many machines do and the facade is less important than the mechanics, so try and put a different slant on someones reasons for losing weight, as many will state the cosmetic reasons, or in the case of pregnant people, some might say to be fitter, so they can do active child based things, but I bet at least 40-60% of post-pregnancy females, would say change was desired for cosmetic purposes and biological benefit then becomes a secondary consideration, or at best a passing consideration, if the person fails to mention it in their initial reasoning and therefore they may be people that would not consider such changes, on weeks where dissapointment may occur from what could be perceived as substandard progress.
Blood pressure home monitoring, could indicate progress or lack of week by week, but in the case of things like bone density improvement, cholesterol and triglyceride reduction, regular testing would require for many unneccessary or untenable expense, but to believe these things may have improved in any given week, even if occasionally one or more of these factors don't improve at all one week, is better than believing they may not have, because the person isn't lying to themselves, just being optimistic and if that motivates them to be less frustrated or dissapointed, where's the harm?
After all, how can you be lying to yourself, if you believe in physical change you can't prove?
So stressing the bigger picture may help people to fine more emotional connection to their circumstances.
Maybe some of this helps, I don't know
.
The first thing could be to reassure someone that there are people who have been overweight by 100lbs or more that lost it and therefore losing some pregnancy weight is very real and possible
It doesn't mean the individuals body will respond in quite the same way to an overweight persons body, as the pregnancy or pregancies, may have possibly affected certain types of hormones and the way in which the body responds to changes in diet and activity levels.
The thing to also do is to help someone who thinks this is as good as it gets, to believe that they are worth it and that "as good as it gets", is some kind of emotional conclusion, not a physical reality, bearing in mind a woman with a 120lb muscular body and 14% fat, wouldn't say this is "as good as it gets", because that's a comment made by someone who may look like they're trying to come to terms, with a supposed scenario of "not great but could be worse".
There is almost always a solution to this problem of pregancy weight, without the need for dumb pills or expensive guff like Isagenix, unless the person is getting a counterproductive effect from something like an ongoing medication of some kind, or some kind of metabolic problem stemming from thyroid malfunction, or any other possible medical scenario(s).
Many people will claim when losing weight, to have tried everything and nothing works. This boils down to potentially one of two things.
1. Emotional disconnect to potentially workable things, possibly because of quick onset of boredom with that thing, or over expectant feelings leading to dissapointment, when change is not achieved in a way that is highly unfeasible, I.E. expecting to lose 10lbs of weight in the first 2 weeks and losing 4-6.
2. Not having tried everything, just everything they know of. So many permutations of eating and exercising exist, that if you can find the right combination of both and connect emotionally to them for a prolonged period of time, then consistant lasting results can be yielded, unless the issues described above about the thyroid etc, come into play.
People losing any kind of weight, including pregancy weight, need to realise that there's no need to seemingly settle for second best, or think it's too late. There's never a too late where weight loss is concerned and if someone considers themselves worth it enough, then perseverence can lead to eventual success, in a way that discontinuing any attempts can never do.
Older Mothers looking to lose weight, need to be reminded that their children need good quality rolemodels and may grow up with the urge to be active, as opposed to being active only when schools supposedly force them. Therefore fitness and a healthy appearance can play a good role, in projecting the right image to children and give them something to aspire to.
The individuals should also be made aware of the bigger picture, all too seldom remembered, which is all the things that cannot be seen.
Why does the person want to lose weight, to look better, or to reduce the risk of diabetes, heart attacks, strokes, onset of bad joints etc, because when you prioritse the important internal benefits, you can make the cosmetic changes an added bonus, not the primary focus, because your body works just like many machines do and the facade is less important than the mechanics, so try and put a different slant on someones reasons for losing weight, as many will state the cosmetic reasons, or in the case of pregnant people, some might say to be fitter, so they can do active child based things, but I bet at least 40-60% of post-pregnancy females, would say change was desired for cosmetic purposes and biological benefit then becomes a secondary consideration, or at best a passing consideration, if the person fails to mention it in their initial reasoning and therefore they may be people that would not consider such changes, on weeks where dissapointment may occur from what could be perceived as substandard progress.
Blood pressure home monitoring, could indicate progress or lack of week by week, but in the case of things like bone density improvement, cholesterol and triglyceride reduction, regular testing would require for many unneccessary or untenable expense, but to believe these things may have improved in any given week, even if occasionally one or more of these factors don't improve at all one week, is better than believing they may not have, because the person isn't lying to themselves, just being optimistic and if that motivates them to be less frustrated or dissapointed, where's the harm?
After all, how can you be lying to yourself, if you believe in physical change you can't prove?
So stressing the bigger picture may help people to fine more emotional connection to their circumstances.
Maybe some of this helps, I don't know
.Re: ? from a guy
I like that... Your response was all good, but I like that. Thanks Boss Manyou can make the cosmetic changes an added bonus, not the primary focus, because your body works just like many machines do and the facade is less important than the mechanics, so try and put a different slant on someones reasons for losing weight,
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Tallgirll22T
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Re: ? from a guy
i don't know what rock those old bags are living under, but I have the opposite problem. Every time I try to pick up a fitness mag or read an article online, at school, or somewhere, it is always the same "I am a pround mother of 3...blah blah...I'm 52 and...blah blah...after struggling with cancer, divorce, etc...blah freakin blah...I lost 85 pounds and am in the best shape of life...you can be just like me...blah...now I fit into highschool jeans...blah!" And you are trying to tell me THAT isn't a bunch of BS? Here is rant: I don't want to be just like them because I ain't old and I don't even have a boyfriend, let alone kids. Yuck! It has taken me years to find a tiny corner where I can actually find the information I want that isn't geared for old people hitting mid-life crisis or a baseless superficial beauty mag. And I still have to sift through garbage! If I wan't something that is appropriate for me, I pretty much have to turn to men. I haven't ever been skinny, I nearly work myself to death at a dead end physically taxing job, plus workout and am a part time student with a history of health problems. I don't wanna hear that just because I am 22, it is easy for me to lose weight and look awesome because it isn't. Being healthy is a way I want to live, it isn't a hobby I got into after life was already half over anyway and I had nothing better to do.
Your female friends sound like mom, but at least mom has debilitating arthritis, so that is a better excuse than what they are giving. Point-blank, the problem is they are fat, lazy, and unmotivated. They want someone else (probably you) to do the work for them. They want some magic pill to make them look and feel amazing. Well there isn't one. Living a healthy lifestyle is hardwork, and if you aren't motivated enough, it isn't gonna happen. If they would actually pick up a copy of some of these women's fitness mags out there, they would see that most of those models are over 40 and have kids and busy schedules, yet same as me, they still get out of bed every morning with determination. This tells me your friends haven't really tried to help themselves; they just want to complain to you.
So next time you see one of these women and she starts in with the same old whining, tell her to get off her fat and do something about it, because she is the only one who can. I lost over 60 pounds in a little over 2 years. Getting that way is a life change. Getting fit is sweaty, gritty, smelly, and oh yeah, it hurts. If the thought makes your lady friends queasy, see to it they lean over and puke on someone other than you, ok?
Your female friends sound like mom, but at least mom has debilitating arthritis, so that is a better excuse than what they are giving. Point-blank, the problem is they are fat, lazy, and unmotivated. They want someone else (probably you) to do the work for them. They want some magic pill to make them look and feel amazing. Well there isn't one. Living a healthy lifestyle is hardwork, and if you aren't motivated enough, it isn't gonna happen. If they would actually pick up a copy of some of these women's fitness mags out there, they would see that most of those models are over 40 and have kids and busy schedules, yet same as me, they still get out of bed every morning with determination. This tells me your friends haven't really tried to help themselves; they just want to complain to you.
So next time you see one of these women and she starts in with the same old whining, tell her to get off her fat and do something about it, because she is the only one who can. I lost over 60 pounds in a little over 2 years. Getting that way is a life change. Getting fit is sweaty, gritty, smelly, and oh yeah, it hurts. If the thought makes your lady friends queasy, see to it they lean over and puke on someone other than you, ok?