Jena's Journal.

[MissJenaKay]

Warning, today's meals will probably be terrible seeing as I'm having depression issues and I'm just all around full of thoughts that are not happy.

8:30 Wake Up

9:10
-- 6 oz Chobani Greek Yogurt (Strawberry) [[Cal 140, Fat 0, Carbs 20 - Fiber 1 Sugar 19, Protein 14]]
-- 3 oz Baby Carrot [[Cal 35, Fat 0, Carbs 18 - Fibre 2 Sugar 5, Protein 1]]

[fit-fanatic-2025]

How are you doing Jena? I hate depression, it sucks big time more like huge.

[MissJenaKay]

I'm not doing to well. :c I just feel. Meh.

[Bonnie]

As a survivor of clinical depression, the best thing you can do for yourself is eat healthy ( helps with brain chemical balance ) & exercise.I do realize it is difficult sometimes even impossible,which adds to the depression.Have you sought medical help for your depression ? Sometimes a condition called SAD ( seasonal affective disorder ) will come about in winter months also, due to the grey icky weather.

[MissJenaKay]

I have clinical depression, OCD, and Bipolar. No treatments have ever worked and nothing seems to make anything better, it just goes in cycles, it'll life eventually.

[MissJenaKay]

Today is going to suck, I know it is. I hate Valentine's Day. I always have and most likely always will. It's a stupid and pointless exclusive holiday that is not really beneficial to anyone. People without Valentines feel left out and miserable about themselves, people with Valentine's are under so much pressure to do things exactly right and buy the perfect gift and all that. I don't see why this holiday exists as commercial love day. Honestly, if your relationship with a person is strong enough or healthy, then you don't need a holiday to tell you to be affectionate to your partner. You don't need a special day once a year to buy them a gift or have a romantic evening with them or even just to show them affection. You should be doing that whenever you feel it. You don't need this stupid commercial love day. I was told by one of the people I know back home that single people should use Valentine's Day to show how much they love their friends and family. But the same case applies, you should be showing these people you love them all year round, you don't need a holiday. And on the aspect of it being a special day for couples . . . I could have sworn that every couple has a special day already. What was it called. . .? Oh yeah, an anniversary! That's what that is. I'm honestly sick of people putting so much force behind this pointless holiday. It's quite asinine. I'm pretty sure that no couple really needs a day full of things that are pink and red, chocolates and flowers, and heart and cherubs with bows and arrows. None of these things are necessary or even relevant to a good relationship save for the hearts, but it's needless commercialism like this that takes all the thought and meaning out of holidays. Well, I'm done ranting now. Feel free to comment on points.

In other news, I committed to myself that this week would be the week that I got back in the saddle and stopped letting life get in the way of fat loss goals. Hopefully, I can keep to commitment. The past week or two has also been interesting by virtue that there are a couple people here I know that get angry with me when I concede to them. I've been called a pushover several times in the past week or two and I think it's friend Pierce's way of trying to get me to be more assertive and stand up for myself.

8:20 Wake Up

9:26
-- 6 oz Chobani Greek Yogurt (Strawberry) [[Cal 140, Fat 0, Carbs 20 - Fiber 1 Sugar 19, Protein 14]]
-- 3 oz Baby Carrot [[Cal 35, Fat 0, Carbs 18 - Fibre 2 Sugar 5, Protein 1]]

11:00
-- 1 string cheese [[Cal 60, Fat 2.5, Carbs 1 - Fibre 0 Sugar 0, Protein 8]]

12:54
-- 1/2 Burrito Bowl :: Rice, Black Beans, Pork, Corn, Sauteed Peppers and Onions, cheese and sour cream [[Don't know]]

4:12
-- Turkey Burger [[Don't know]]
-- A couple fries [[Don't know]]
-- Naked Juice, Green Machine [[Cal 140, Fat 0, Carbs 33 - Fibre 0 Sugar 28, Protein 2]]


Brent :: Allow me to correct myself then. No treatment worked long term and there is nothing that I have found that makes things better. There might be something out there, but I haven't learned about it. Better?

[MissJenaKay]

Way better! Now you have given yourself a chance to succeed.

Oh yeah nice rant too.

I can rant with the best of them, and usually have thoughts backed up with good point (or at least I think they're good points)

[MissJenaKay]

The closest I can get to a punching bag here is Mollie and violence is generally looked down upon. Lol. Besides, the pen is mightier than the sword. :]

[Boss Man]

I agree about such events. Though some people like it, so who are we to stand in their way. If they like buying gifts on select holidays it's better, than having no reason and just not doing it at all.

At least it gives lazy partners the kick up the bum they need, to show their "others" more affection.

[MissJenaKay]

They have an anniversary for the kick in the tush. Lol.

[Boss Man]

What's it called and assiversary

[MissJenaKay]

Boss . . . Not funny. *blank stare* Lol. Okay, it's funny.

[MissJenaKay]

Okay, so I got up early and went to the gym today, when I got back, Mollie was still in bed, I got home at 9:24, she has class at 9:40, I thought me not being around, she'd wake herself up, nope, i still had to play mommy. Also, some of our issues have been resolved, but some of them have gotten more annoying or she's started new ones. Oh well, only one and a half quarters to go.

8:00 Wake Up

8:12
-- 6 oz Chobani Greek Yogurt (Strawberry) [[Cal 140, Fat 0, Carbs 20 - Fiber 1 Sugar 19, Protein 14]]

8:31 Work out
-- Dumbbell Squats: 2 sets of 12 at 10 lbs per DB
-- Dumbbell Lunges: 2 sets of 12 at 10 lbs per DB
-- Hamstring Curls: 2 sets of 12 at 50 lbs
-- Lower Back: 2 sets 12 at 70 lbs
-- Chest Press: 2 sets of 12 at 30 lbs
-- Rows: 2 sets of 12 at 30lb
-- Bicep Curls: 2 set of 12 at 20lb
-- Shoulder Press: 2 sets of 12 at 20 lbs
-- Tricep Extension: 2 sets of 12 at 40 lbs
-- Crunches: 2 sets of 20
-- Lying Oblique Crunches: 2 sets of 20 (each side)

9:30
-- 1 stick Low Fat String Cheese [[Cal 60, Fat 2.5, Carbs 1 - Fibre 0 Sugar 0, Protein 8]]
-- 6 slices Oven Roasted Turkey Deli Meat [[Cal 45, Fat .5, Carbs <1 - Fibre 0 Sugar 0, Protein 8]]
-- 1 Scoop EAS Whey Protein Powder (mixed with water) [[Cal 130, Fat 2.5, Carbs 3 - Fibre 1 Sugar 1, Protein 23]]

11:53
-- 1 Stuffed Sandwich, Pizza Thingy [[Cal 270, Fat 6, Carbs 38 - Fibre 5 Sugar 3, Protein 17]]
-- Naked Juice, Green Machine [[Cal 140, Fat 0, Carbs 33 - Fibre 0 Sugar 28, Protein 2]]
-- 3 oz Baby Carrot [[Cal 35, Fat 0, Carbs 18 - Fibre 2 Sugar 5, Protein 1]]

5:00
-- Philly Cheese Steak (no bread)
-- Steamed Veggies
-- Coffee

8:12
-- 3 Vanilla Oreos

[MissJenaKay]

9:30 Wake Up

9:45
-- 6 oz Chobani Greek Yogurt (Strawberry) [[Cal 140, Fat 0, Carbs 20 - Fiber 1 Sugar 19, Protein 14]]
-- 3 oz Baby Carrot [[Cal 35, Fat 0, Carbs 18 - Fibre 2 Sugar 5, Protein 1]]

[MissJenaKay]

Right now. I don't think life could get much worse. I hate this. I want it all to be over.