C-tina's work out blog!

[rockchick_82808]

so today...i braved running during the day light. today is day off and its gonna storm tonite and i had plans for weights tomorrow so i really wanted to run. i kept going back and forth. i'm very insecure about melons lol and having to see people watch me. even tho- they finally went down a cup size they are still a DDD. i figured to hell with it. at least they wont be staring at stomach rolls. lol.

it was a lot hotter outside then what i'm use to when running but even tho i only slacked 1min on first mile. i took it slow for the last 2miles because the sun was beating down on me and i didn't want to chance getting dehydrated.

p.s. i mentioned the stomach rolls bc in pics on here i suck in the tummy. i know i know..but soon enough when it goes down more i will have the pics posted. i already have them side by side of jan. of 08 and jan. of 09 and it looks good at the change. but i'm just not quite comfortable yet posting it. i'm in a sports bra and shorts. once tummy goes down more i wont care what i looked like b4 cause it will be in the past. right now i still cant see button. i hate it. goal is to loose enough by nov. to see it for the first time in over...*begins to count the yrs* 10yrs! I know that since i bumped up the cardio and good ab workouts i should start to see the change faster. I've been working out every day practically for the past 2wks. if i feel sluggish i just don't go as hard. I finally dont even beet myself up over that. body needs to rest so why feel bad about missing a day? I'm getting stronger at this mentally. its been great! I still get insecure moments but i have been getting much better.

like i said b4 i'm not trying to become a stick in the period of 5months. just want to loose one dress size. last year i went from an 18 to a 14. goal for this year is a 12. i will get there damn it. lol

[Boss Man]

You WILL because you CAN .

Your commitment, dedication and belief are key things that are helping you to achieve and succeed physically, so keep on pushing and be proud, because you can be.

Every little plus point is worthwhile and great mentally on the not becoming a stick in 5 months. That is just simply one of the worst mentalities to adopt.

[rockchick_82808]

grrrrr! on sunday the damn thunder storm set off car alarm. bc of that i tried goin out to the car to turn it off. bfs dog was barkin and goin crazy so i tried to close the door fast and in doing so the door closed on foot. whole right ankle is all cut up. no matter how much cotton or gauze i put on it, it hurts from the rubbing. every time i start getting a good thing going with work out something happens. it irritates the shit out of me! its now Wednesday and it still hurts. i hate this. i want to run so bad! i can't wait for this crap to heal so i can get back out there. tomorrow im gonna go to the gym and lift some weights so that im getting something in at least. the only plus side is the fact its been raining a lot this week so i dont feel as bad. lol

[rockchick_82808]

thank u. i hate when this happens because i always feel guilty for some reason. even though i have been resisting junk food at work...i've been doin better. i wish i knew how to think positive and think of what i have accomplished instead of feeling down every time something comes up. i need to come up with something because i have to learn to stop beating myself up over every little thing. its beginning to become exhausting over something completely stupid and a waste of time.

i have always been like this and i know i'm not gonna be able to fully enjoy life if i don't start to change this. i know if i don't change state of mind now that once i do reach goal i wont be happy. i don't want to be miserable whole life.

i'm open to any suggestions on what could help me. little steps of things...anything. i don't want to be that girl any more who looks in the mirror and only sees what she hates and not the good parts about her. i need a change.

[Bonnie]

I didn't appreciate the good things or positive things around me until I was in forties, unfortunately.Les has the right idea, the affirmations that at least a couple of things went right.Concentrate on the right things & soon most of your thoughts will be positive, this is the ONE reason I'd NEVER want to return to twenties, so confusing a time

[rockchick_82808]

I like the idea of writing down positives each day. I actually put a collage 9of photos together and created a desk top on screen that shows improvement. big fear right now...even though im excited to go to the bahamas 5months from now...im scared as hell im going to ruin this once in a life time experiance bc of insecurities. Not to mention I know bf will glance around at the girls. It won't be intenonal but if I see it...the whole vcay will be down hill from there. I asked him if I start to get depressed make me face it then and there. He knows the look, he said he would. He said if he makes an of himself to hit him. Lol. I don't know if im more excited about going or more scared about ruining It. I got 5 months to change...reguardless if its weight or how I look at myself. I deserve to enjoy this as any1 else does.

[rockchick_82808]

as i have been working out i noticed right (putting a lil something personal out there!) boob has gotten much smaller then the left. almost a cup!!! question is, is it ok for me to work out just the left side and focus on it? if so should i just leave right side alone for now until the other catches up, and how often is it ok to do weights for that arm. would it be too much for every day? i'm doing toning so the weight is low at 5lbs. i know they say its best to do weight every other day so i don't want to go crazy with it. i need some advice on this one. bathing suite doesn't even fit right now since i bought it. this is ridiculous!

[Bonnie]

Boobs are made up of fat, so not sure how the weights would really have much to do with it ?..I lost all of mine equally so, yeah I don't know why its uneven, seems a bit odd.

[Boss Man]

You'll have a problem in that respect. If it was something like a Back issue, you could do one Armed Cable stuff or Dumbell Rows, same if it was Arm or shoulder stuff, you could do certain things to help.

In respect of Chest. Short of doing Dumbell Flyes or Dumbell Bench Press with slightly less weight on one side, things like Pec Deck, Crossovers, Dips, Military Press etc etc, will require both arms at once, or a Barbell and having a Barbell with less weight on one side is not advisable.

Doing Chest with slightly lower dumbells, is something I did for a few sessions after a hand injury, (not Gym related). One the hand could hold something I did DB presses with usual weight level, and a reduced level on the other hand. Roughly a third. This surprisingly didn't make me top heavy, mainly because I wasn't moving the weight out, but up, so no tipping over.

I wouldn't have tried this when I had no weightbearing ability, I.E. a dumbell on one side and nothing on the other, as that would have been a risk, but because I knew I was in control, should the way I trained on that exercise with two unevenly weighted DB's, seem like a potential issue, I could have controlled it, long before any hypothetical mishaps.

You may however find, that the issue corrects itself with time, so don't be too hasty to think it's going to stay that way.

The other thing is, you might have a slight technique issue.

I you are doing any dumbell based exercises, like Flyes for example, you might be moving one arm, through a fuller range of motion, when the other isn't. promoting correct muscle and Fat manipulation on one side, that is replcated in an inferior way on the other side.

[Nokie173]

I like the idea of writing down positives each day...

I really like that idea too!!! I'm pretty negative and hate to look at myself in the mirror...
But I do, really try to remind myself why i'm doing in the first place.. yeah to be fit but to also be healthy!
Girl, keep it positive... you're doing great for yourself and your health!

[rockchick_82808]

Today is June 16th. I am only one month a way from when I first joined Fittracker. I have been thinking a lot about what I have accomplished this past year. In January of 2009 I was once a size 18. Also very depressed and in a very bad household when all that occurred was yelling and constant put downs from mom and step father. Everyone that I knew had no idea why I was still living there. Well….money, enough said. Then things got so bad that bfs family took me in towards the end of that year. It was real blessing. It showed me what a family really was and that I deserved better.
Stress does a lot to a person…weather it’s depression, weight gain, feeling weak mentally, emotionally, and physically. Even tho- money is a big factor and the debt is taking forever to get rid of…I gained a family that really impacted life.

I mentioned a lil more of personal life because fit tracker isn’t just about ur weight…its about ur health…all around. Once the stress was wearing away, head became more clear and I was finally able to focus on me with out some one putting me down and degrading me. I felt like some one. Not to mention the great support I get from this website.

Today I am a size 14. I’m still struggling with looking at the positives and negatives of where I am today. I have off days but now…I don’t give up for months just because of one day. I get back on that horse. Today, arms are smaller then they were 2years ago. I use to have fat that hung over elbows…not no more. tummy is most certainly the hardest thing to get past because I feel like I’m not getting anywhere with it. So to get mind off it I look at how I am finally able to run!!! Yes I said it run! I wasn’t able to do that for years. I remember back in 6th grade I was running out side playing tag and this guy yelled out “run fat girl run!” From that day on I stopped. I felt so gross not to mention entire family always putting me down.

Also today… thighs still rub but I lost 6ins on each of them! progress is slow..but I always tell self I could either be where I was 2years ago or be worse! way of thinking about appearance has been improving. It’s a on going battle because of growing up with so much negativity. I don’t expect it to change over nite but I keep working at it.

What I have been learning… weight is not the biggest issue here. Yes it does play a role but the biggest picture here is health. I am no longer a couch potato. In fact I can’t stand sitting for more than an hour at a time and on days off, if I don’t go out and do something I feel like I wasted time. I became active again! The feeling is fantastic.

At work I told everyone how important it is for me to change eating habits at work. Being surrounded by junk food that we sell and the people buying it…is rough! So I asked them every time I pick up junk wake me up and don’t ring me! So far just because of the fact that I know they are watching..lol.. I only picked up twice but bought none! It’s been two weeks now and I have to say that’s pretty damn good. As time passes it’s getting a little easier.

A lot has happened this past year lots of ups and downs. That damn scale keeps showing higher numbers every week…but I don’t let that bother me because of how much I’m toning up and the muscle that I am seeing now amazes me! The only time it really affects me is when I look at stomach. I feel like because it hasn’t gone down I think that’s where the weight is going even though it hasn’t gotten any larger! It becomes a real mind game some days. It’s hard as hell. Not to mention summer is here and the bathing suites and all the pretty girls…instead of makin myself jealous like how I use to…I say “girl don’t dis because u will experience that too! Don’t let how long it takes you to get there affect how far you have come today! Don’t fall back… you have worked way too hard!”

I am one month away as I had mentioned earlier, from being on this site for a year. I like to thank all of you for your support and advice along the way and for the time to come. I take everything you say to heart, because of all of you and bf and his family…I found a strength in me I never knew existed. I can’t wait to see it grow. I hope that next month when I post year changes in inches ect. It will show myself how far I have come and to stop with the negativity. I’m better than that! Not to mention I’m way to bubbly for it. lol

[EdgarHF]

Wow, sounds like you've really accomplished alot in a year. Two points I would like to make. First I really get the joy you are having from running again. It wasn't that long ago that I was so sick and overweight that I thought I would never run again. I am still overweight, but like you I can run again. Secondly, two weekends ago when I first left the treadmill and was doing first solo run on the Chicago lakefront path a teenager on a bike rode past me and said, "You better move that fat a$$". It said much more about about the kid than me. I think someone like that is much more damaged than I or you will ever be and should be pitied.

[Bonnie]

Yes it is not all about weight, fitness encompasses the mind, body & spirit of a person, keep up the great work !

[Nokie173]

I am one month away as I had mentioned earlier, from being on this site for a year. I like to thank all of you for your support and advice along the way and for the time to come. I take everything you say to heart, because of all of you and bf and his family…I found a strength in me I never knew existed. I can’t wait to see it grow. I hope that next month when I post year changes in inches ect. It will show myself how far I have come and to stop with the negativity. I’m better than that! Not to mention I’m way to bubbly for it. lol

Awww man, I'm crying at work... Such a heart warming read....
I'm am really happy to read all your posts and seen how you have grown and did not give up on things!
Although you had your ups and downs... you still worked hard... you have come so far and I hope you realized you have changed a lot in a good way
Keep it up girl... You motivate me personally... not to give up and keep on pushing...

[rockchick_82808]

Wow, sounds like you've really accomplished alot in a year. Two points I would like to make. First I really get the joy you are having from running again. It wasn't that long ago that I was so sick and overweight that I thought I would never run again. I am still overweight, but like you I can run again. Secondly, two weekends ago when I first left the treadmill and was doing first solo run on the Chicago lakefront path a teenager on a bike rode past me and said, "You better move that fat a$$". It said much more about about the kid than me. I think someone like that is much more damaged than I or you will ever be and should be pitied.

i agree. i get the looks from these thin prissy girls at the gym. it bothered me at first but then when i watched them they weren't even working out. isn't that the main goal when going to the gym? some times i wonder why some girls do that? they come all in fancy work out clothes, do their make up, wear their hair down...then only do a couple machines walk around and walk out. i think they do it just to get picked up by some guys. lol. so i learned to just ignore the looks from them. They aren't there for the same reason i am. to just remind self...let them look at u, u know what ur doing is good for u so if they give u a nasty look...smile back. lol and i have.