Work In Progress - FitoverForty

[fit-fanatic-2025]

Someone, it might have been you wrote when uncle passed away said that everyone should have an Uncle Jack. Your dad sounds like a wonderful person that everyone should also have as a father!! Very sorry for your loss Lynne. I really liked what you wrote about him.

[EdgarHF]

Sorry news to hear. I never met him but I know he raised a wonderful daughter.

[Boss Man]

The main thing is he is not gone. Don't remember him as he was so near to the end, remember him for all the good times and the things you shared.

Your genetics, words and deeds to some extent are a little bit of him and his influence, so he is not truly gone, not when you add the memories in there too.

He will be there in your life always and he lives through you to some extent.

[ironwill]

Such a comfort, as a believer, that your Dad has graduated, and is now in the presence of our Lord, and Saviour Jesus Christ. The ones left behind mourn, as they will miss him, but find rest in knowing he suffers no longer, but has a new body without pain, and can run on streets of Gold. And of course all the wonderful memories to talk about, until the time comes Lynne when you will see him again. prayers for comfort are with you and your family. Your Dad is looking down on you with pride.

[ldematto]

I'm so sorry for your loss Lynne - he will continue to be with you in thoughts and deeds..... You have been a wonderful daughter and he was proud of you as you are of him and his accomplishments.

thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[fitoverforty]

Thanks guys, SO much for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. It has been a tough week. mom and dad had a long and loving relationship and were just 9 days shy of their 55 wedding anniversary this Christmas eve. It will be a difficult Christmas.
I haven't worked out or ran since Saturday before last. I hope to get back to it soon, just have been so overwhelmed with everything and have not had the desire or willpower to do anything. I also haven't been eating. I don't have an appetite at all and the thought of food or the smell of it makes me nauseous. It is probably some sort of stress reaction, but for days now I have not been able to eat a full meal, just a bite here and there or an energy drink. I haven't had this feeling since the birth of son - I could not eat for days after we brought him home, again I'm sure due to extreme stress and emotional overload. It is ironic that this has happened on two momentous occasions - one with a birth and one with a death.
Not sure how to get past it - I guess the passing of time will help. Thanks again guys - it truly helps knowing there are such good hearted, sweet, caring people across the globe sending well wishes and prayers.

[Bonnie]

Losing your appetite in grief is completely normal & yes time is the only thing that will make a difference, unfortunately.

[Fygle]

Sorry about your father, Lynne.

[Nokie173]

I'm sorry for your loss. BIG BIG BIG HUGS....

[feelin-great]

Oh, Lynne, sending you HUGE hugs!! I am so sorry for your loss Your dad was obviously an amazing man and he raised a wonderful daughter. I truly wish there was something I could do to make you feel better, but I do know that only time can heal the pain. Just remember that he is at peace now. Your appetite will come back eventually. I know it is going to be a tough Christmas for you and your family but please take care of yourself! We are here for you if you need us!

[fitoverforty]

thanks guys.
Trying to find the motivation to get back to running and working out. I know how much I love it, but just can't find enough energy or will to do it. I don't feel like doing anything that I relate with happiness - just not ready, does that make sense? Is that normal? It's like I would feel guilty if I resumed old life, going back to doing the things I enjoyed before I lost dad.
One minute I'm able to laugh and feel "normal", the next I will tear up and start to cry. I find the smallest things will set me off - like son saying "are we going to grandma and grandpa's?" geez when he said that I literally flinched, I felt it physically, in the pit of stomach. I had already bought dad a Christmas gift - it's sitting on bedroom floor, I avoid looking at it - I don;t know what to do with it?
Sorry, I didn't mean to go on about it all...just feeling a bit lost right now.
I definitely need a kick in the pants (well maybe a soft tap ) to get myself back together & go on with life, because we all know, life does go on, and I know dad would probably say "snap out of it girl!! I wanna see a smile on that face!" lol.

[Bonnie]

Grief is different for each person, first thing to keep in mind.I can honestly say I didn't handle mine appropriately and spent 20 years of life, lost.I only recently have been able to be happy.I will tell you what happened to me only for reference point, in 1984 there was a drunk driver.I lost sister, brother, sister in law, brother in law & 2 month old nephew.I can tell you that the outbursts of tears and brief moments of happiness or at the very least normal feeling may continue on for years, eventually the stretches of normal feeling expand and at holiday or when you hear a song or see a picture you may cry OR you may smile.Either way its okay to feel whatever emotion that you need to, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, no rules.As for the present, decide which is more painful, to see it or put it say in the closet ? You can try to put it out of sight, but find its more painful, because you will then feel as if your trying to avoid thoughts of him.Its a VERY confusing time full of hurt & shock.You might very well cry when you first run as allison said, then again you know how proud he was of your running & feel close to him, which will in turn either make you smile or cry.I hate to say this but there is A LOT of crying involved, its inescapable & its okay.You will be okay, he will never be gone from your thoughts or heart, we never lose them.Do whatever feels right to you xoxo

[Boss Man]

One thing you should never do Lynne, is apologise for how you deal with traumatic circumstances . You're human and there's never apologies needed in such circumstances. It's nobodies fault in this instance that the loss occured, as it was natural loss not inflicted, so there's nobody in the equation who needs to apologise, least of all you .

[fitoverforty]

He wants you to be happy (: You deserve it

Thanks Les.

I sincerely hope you don't take this the wrong way (I'm dealing with mom stuff, so I've been thinking about this quite a bit)...but grief is a selfish thing.

No worries, I don't take it the wrong way, I actually agree with you. I understand what you are saying.

It's almost like there's no place for grief. We're expected to be strong and move on. So I hold onto that grief, shove it down, and it comes back to the surface all the time, unexpectedly.

At Dad's request (something he had asked years ago) I sang a song at his funeral (Another Soldier's Coming Home), I struggled and worried for days, afraid of breaking down in front of everyone and not doing him justice. I wanted him to be proud. Anyway, I did not allow myself to truly grieve during the funeral because I was so focused on holding it together so I could sing the song. So, I never really cried. In head i was thinking, everyone is crying and letting out their feelings, but I have to be strong. Then after I sang the song, I thought "okay, now I can cry", but still found that I could not let it out. Inside I feel like screaming and wailing and pounding on walls, but on the outside, I remain rigid, and kind of numb - it is a strange way to feel - kind of like automatic pilot, going through the motions, with occasional bouts of tears or laughter.

Either way its okay to feel whatever emotion that you need to, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, no rules.

I agree with you Bonnie. Thank you for your helpful words.

You might very well cry when you first run as allison said, then again you know how proud he was of your running & feel close to him, which will in turn either make you smile or cry.

Probably both.
And thanks Bossman, you are too sweet. All of you have been very helpful. I appreciate you sharing your personal experiences. You guys are great.

[fitoverforty]

Thanks everyone. Feeling stronger today. Going to go Christmas shopping & get a few last minute things for son and hubby. son was watching you tube videos the other day and discovered "Earth, Wind & Fire" - he loves them, especially the song "September"!! the first line of the song is "Do you remember, the 21st night of September..." which just happens to be mine and hubbys wedding anniversary! how cute is that. So.....I'm off to find a cd of their greatest hits - wish me luck, haha- probably in the "oldies but goodies" section.
Anyway, I appreciate you guys more than you know. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and holiday season. Here's hoping all your dreams, wishes and goals come true.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.